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Shapes

Punching away shadows, shapes
Back were they came from, from the street
Lights smothering the Inky abyss and pockets
Above the silk black blanket
A sinister grin from a ghostly moon
that changed its shape
from a horn to a circular glow

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Rough hard to not be descriptive
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Shapes" effectively creates a vivid and mysterious atmosphere through its imagery and use of language. The contrast between light and darkness, as well as the transformation of the moon's shape, adds depth to the poem. However, consider exploring more specific details or descriptions to enhance the overall impact of the piece. Additionally, you may want to further develop the theme or message you are conveying to create a stronger connection with the reader.

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I can see a couple of places where you might have done less.
[Inky] abyss, [silk] black blanket.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

yea Geez, but there is still a lot of emptyness anyhow. I think it's a pretty good job of nothing lmao. I think t's good that there is a little something for the follow upper to grab onto. :)

Mark
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I put that together less than five minutes lol

author comment

but I think it will be more difficult when we each need to do the flip side.
Later,

Mark
.
.
Read/Comment it's a win win
.
Communications are highly valued.
Be detailed using the contact form.
We who may help cannot see what you see or know what you know.

I put to much in descriptions that's my problem

author comment

describing something is more like a telling than showing when you use metaphor or easier to start simile by using like and as then try metaphor by taking like and as out and see where it takes you it's a little more creative but it shows as opposed to tells and that is where you create imagery.

Mark
.
.
Read/Comment it's a win win
.
Communications are highly valued.
Be detailed using the contact form.
We who may help cannot see what you see or know what you know.

Yeah cool

author comment

Next will be rewriting others' poems. Now I guess ya'll have noticed a drop in number of those still participating. This has resulted in my rethinking the last step. I had intended assigning each person another's poem to rewrite. But Now I am considering letting everybody rewrite all the submitted poems. But this being participant driven I'll ask for feedback on the direction ya'll prefer. Just post your thoughts here.

I wouldn't say this is without imagery or with the least or minimum of it. On the contrary, I thought it's a rich one with at least sight imagery

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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to give any texture or other sensory to. The images are such that any reference to taste, touch or smell will be lost on the reader. However, I will give it a go. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Punching away shadows, shapes
Back were they came from, from the street
Lights smothering the Inky abyss and pockets
Above the silk black blanket
A sinister grin from a ghostly moon
that changed its shape
from a horn to a circular glow

Punching away shadows, shapes.
Back where they came from, from the gritty street
Lights smothering the pockets of odor with glare
Above the black, silk blanket
A sinister grin from the ghostly moon
that changed its shape
from a horn to a circular glow

Not much else you can do with what there is here,
without changing the poem a lot.
~ Geezer.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

you need to do major changes when adding different types of imagery, but I believe you did well here as I said earlier.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

I did the best I could. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Great well done

author comment

Punching away shadows, shapes
Back were they came from, from the street
Lights smothering the Inky abyss and pockets
Above the silk black blanket
A sinister grin from a ghostly moon
that changed its shape
from a horn to a circular glow

Punching away midnight shadows,shapes,back were they came from, from the lanterns of urban light ,, choking the ink blanket , disappearing into the night pockets .A sinister curve from a phantom moon,that changed it's shape from a white witches nail to a glowing orb

author comment

I hope I will get to some more of your writing in the near future, as for the moment, I'm trying desperately to catch up. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I haven't been on for a while because I have written one book and in the middle of another

author comment
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