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NIGHT CLOWN
I said my goodbyes to cut a path
down the black snake like winding
park
A sound of screeching invades my
ear holes
the further I walk . I froze so did
my thumping heart. My
eyes flicked alert.
Scanning the midnight
masked curtain i fixated on the
eerie distraction.
It was an old mischievous squeaking
swing
leisurely swaying back and forth then
halting.
Bile starts running up my throat my
body starts to shake.
My stomach wants to
chuck my left over McDonald's up.
I decided to sprint most of the way
not looking
back to make it to the swinging gate.
The wind was sighing and
rattling and thrashing,
choking the black veined, limbs of trees.
The quicker i
hurried the more I felt its rage behind
me. I almost leapt out of my shoes and
dress when I turned
the corner to see a long lanky shape
obstructing the way.
The shadowed street lamp stood cold
alone and was cutting a hole in the
darkness dispelling it.
It glowed on a lonely tall gangly clown.
I could see the candyfloss pink fiery
hair
and white latex
mask over its head.
Its white glove was holding a glinted
shaped
kitchen knife and the other guiding
a diamond shaped kite.
Its head swiveled as I got closer
and a little closer it's
grin grew more sinister, evil
I took my chances and bolted.
When I got back I called the cops
they swung by later that night but
know clown insight. A few days later
I turned on the tv they found a body
shredded to pieces
Face unrecognisable, unidentified female
cadaver found by a local dog walker.
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2024-03-15 00:10
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Night Clown" effectively uses vivid and unsettling imagery to create a sense of fear and unease. The use of the clown figure, a common trope in horror, is a strong choice for the antagonist. The detailed descriptions of the clown's appearance, particularly the "candyfloss pink fiery hair" and "white latex mask," contribute to the eerie atmosphere.
The narrative structure of the poem is also well-executed. The increasing tension as the protagonist encounters the clown and the subsequent relief when they escape creates a compelling and suspenseful story. The final twist, revealing the fate of an unidentified female, is a chilling conclusion that leaves the reader with a lingering sense of dread.
However, there are areas where the poem could be improved. The language and sentence structure can be quite complex at times, which can make the poem difficult to follow. Simplifying the language and breaking up longer sentences could help to improve readability.
The poem could also benefit from more consistent use of punctuation. There are several instances where punctuation is missing or used incorrectly, which can disrupt the flow of the poem and confuse the reader.
Lastly, the use of colloquial language, such as "ear holes" and "chuck my left over McDonald's up," feels out of place in the otherwise formal and poetic language of the poem. Consistency in tone and language can help to create a more cohesive and immersive reading experience.
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Geezer
Thu, 2024-03-14 20:01
Sounds like...
the synopsis of a scary-movie script! ~ Geez.
.
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Jokerface82
Fri, 2024-03-15 08:10
Thanks geez
Yeah I wanted that build up that tension that isolation. No Help and alone plus a clown standing there alone in a park
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