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single breath poetry...

Single breath poetry

I do recall
your name after all
you were on call ,
but then your poetry was,
not, that isn't now,
as invaluable as this ...

I read your self eulogy too
share with you
that I too have had four fatal falls
but as there was no place in heaven
God kicked me once for all
and said
stay there till I call

Sex is my weakness
as you say too,
you have a prescription
my spouse says no, to,

as the fear that one has in mind
I may die at the orgasmic grind
that fear eludes my spouse
but still at all times I remain aroused
but then go off to slumber
it’s a good deal,
I may renumber,
ere God asks me to kick the bucket
to go to him empty handed

so I wait, in hope,
with my passion
in superb fashion

awaiting the desired moment!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


This would have been a very good piece if the reference to Neopoets and the near ref to another of our poets, just needs an edit to make it pure as it were.
I do keep saying that your comments in verse should be left as comments and as that they are really good writes but Young Bard you are capable of writing free of comments, and writing comments free of a poetry theme.
Take care out there and write what you see from your window and when I see that I shall do the same from here, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

that too borrowed
shall amend as dictated


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