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Senryu For the love of sunset

red glaucoma eyes
dry achy blurred cornea
seize a sunset drop

Editing stage: 

Comments

Aah! a lovely Senryu Barbara..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thanks

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

Told you I was a little lost for something to do
the comments on Neopoet are very few.
So I take this time to play with Senryu.
It is fiction none of the words are true,
I shall start with that stanza you wrote
Carry it through to a bad assed bloke
Who let a maiden down, the clown,
Barbara this is a good write of yours
but you have sent me on the Renga trail..
I need the two liners in between maybe??

red glaucoma eyes,
dry achy blurred cornea
seize a sunset drop

Tears blur the vision
Are these tears for the sunset
Or are they for you.

My love remember
It was me that held your heart
Draining the life blood.

I should have let go
Crying I remained a fool
In love with your mind.

I shall search the world
For a new love to me true
Then forget the you.

Have a lovely day out there, thinking of you all,
Yours Yenti

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I think it will be fun

Red glaucoma eyes,
dry achy blurred cornea
seize a sunset drop
maybe from a glass of wine
too many too see clear

Tears blur the vision
Are these tears for the sunset
Or are they for you.
beautiful as it maybe
the tears are for both of us

My love remember
It was me that held your heart
draining the life blood.
weak in the knees, falling short
of the balance between us

I should have let go
Crying I remained a fool
In love with your mind.
your tears like rain pooled my heart
draws you near to my mind's eye

I shall search the world
For a new love to me true
Then forget the you.
my fingers of craves reaches
embrace you like a magnet

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

I can now retire to my cave in the hills,
call in if you are passing by.
There will be loved and me
Just having a cup of tea.

You did a lovely work on the bits I put up, also an addition by Raj, working together is a joy, I suppose I had better find some more cups it looks like a party is starting,
Take care out there and will see you all soon as there is only now,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

There will be loved and me
Just having a cup of tea.

THANK you for the open invitation
now Loved needs only a
STANDING OVATION

loved

any nursing-home or old person that likes to sit in the sun and you will find this poem in their heart.
~ Gee

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

Both of you have co-created a lovely Senryu. A great collaborative effort, But for access to this string, it would not have been possible to know that this is a collaborative write, so refined are the connections.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Sorry to butt in. I couldn't resist adding my two pence to your co-written Senryu. Hope you won't mind this intrusion :)

Red glaucoma eyes,
dry achy blurred cornea
seize a sunset drop
maybe from a glass of wine
too many too see clear

Tears blur the vision
Are these tears for the sunset
Or are they for you.
beautiful as it maybe
the tears are for both of us

My love remember
It was me that held your heart
draining the life blood.
weak in the knees, falling short
of the balance between us

I should have let go
Crying I remained a fool
In love with your mind.
your tears like rain pooled my heart
draws you near to my mind's eye

I shall search the world
For a new love to me true
Then forget the you.
my finger of craves reaches
embrace you like a magnet

In sunsets I read
a promise of tomorrows
brighter and warmer
In darkness I shed memoirs
like sequins on my bosom

*

raj (sublime_ocean)

It is a pleasure to have you visit us anytime Barbara will love to include you, as I, it is better to walk with others than to sit alone,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thanks Ian. I am enjoying the walk.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

a full house from three lines

When folks have all the time

what are just three lines
they call it a senyru t
hat's no crime

they test patience
comparing with red wine
and sublime
like my visions across the oceans

I see a senyru coming
but then I promised to remain
within my own domain
and raj I can't dare annoy
nor with Ian's ideology toy
but oh boy
Barbara has forgotten me

come lets go to sea
and watch the demise of a setting sun
which has a right to rise as a reborn one
elsewhere

that's no surprise
friend rise
put a bikini on
or drop it
no one will see
all will be too busy
composing senyorary

loved

I didn't realize (((hugs))
Why don't we do one together

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

funny
sorry not much acumen in me
other than off the cuff
free verse poetry

loved

Yeah

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment
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