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Russia and Ukraine

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Sun, 2014-08-17 03:24

Russian separatists
Bombs bursting in Ukraine
Plane shot down from the skies
Ukrainians shudder, brace up for war.

Convoy of humanitarian aid
Ukrainians dismayed, draw suspicions
Since when, do enemies offer aid to their victims.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Sun, 2014-08-17 13:57

Rula's picture

Barbara

"Since when enemies offer aid to their victims"

This is how it goes these days, ha?
We have an Arabic proverb, but I don't know if it has any equivelant. It says "kill him they walk in his funeral". Very weird world, isn't it?

I thought this one can make use of morphing for a more effective impact on the reader, but don't ask me how :)
Thanks for sharing dear.

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Sun, 2014-08-17 19:50

Barbara Writes's picture

Rula

Yes it certainly is . Weird. I live if somebody tell me how to mask it morph lol

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

Sun, 2014-08-17 17:15

China Blue's picture

Barbara

perhaps if you added something like
since when "do" etc
it would complete the sentence

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

Sun, 2014-08-17 19:48

Barbara Writes's picture

Chrys

Thanks I'll do that.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

Sun, 2014-08-17 19:53

Barbara Writes's picture

Hi is this

I made to changes. Do it morph or work better.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

Mon, 2014-08-18 09:49

China Blue's picture

Yes

That feels better (at least tto me) lol
thanks for listening

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

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