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This Rover Found A Home (contest thankful)

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Tue, 2015-11-03 03:41

I'm thankful for Neopoet
my poetry workshop home
I found a family of poets
unlike any ever known.

I've been on the internet roving
sharing my poetry all over
I've no poetry education
So, I needed evaluation.

A forsaken heart full of thoughts and passion,
I've etched, transcribed, designed poetic fashions.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

THANKS

Comments

judyanne

Tue, 2015-11-03 07:54

hi Barb

I noticed a comment you made to Wes or Jess (can't remember who) that you've been working on your grammar and syntax .... it shows. Well done and congratulations - keep at it :)

Can i suggest you make 'unlike none that's ever known'
to 'unlike any ever known' - it is better grammar :)

I really like your ending couplet - mixed meter that works well
Good luck in the contest
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Barbara Writes

Tue, 2015-11-03 10:55

Thanks, I am training my brain with a new app on my iPhone/iPad to help me detect grammar and syntax errors better. Would you believe in the 80s English was my best subject in college lol. Yes, I struggled with that line. Your suggestion works so much better.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

ThEdges

Tue, 2015-11-03 07:51

Awwww, I love it!

I think you were very clever!

Best always
Laura

Barbara Writes

Tue, 2015-11-03 10:59

Laura

Thanks I appreciate your fine compliment.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

raj

Tue, 2015-11-03 13:39

Barbara, a very honest poetic

Barbara, a very honest poetic gratitude expressed by an honest human being is how I felt after reading your poem.

Regards and best of luck for the contest,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Barbara Writes

Tue, 2015-11-03 14:06

Thanks raj

I owe Neopoet my life and sanity lol. When I was at my lowest Neopoet is where I lived. I was immobile on a couch and couldn't function physically. Non the less I was on Neopoet getting encouragement from many here since 2008 to present. I had my laptop on a table by the chair back then. Even today I'm lying down in bed participating n this contest. And my mind is bubbling forth with creativity and ideas for Neopoet's progress. Stay tune lol. I'm also trying to help this amateur sports team my youngest son and friends trying to get moving.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

raj

Tue, 2015-11-03 14:09