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Rhythm Of the Drum Prima Poetry

rhythm of the drum
darkness rise
tainted blue skies
behind dark trees...

traveling through the cosmos
passed ocean surface
to other side of the mountain...

around and around beat goes
spinning above the drum
like wind
spiraling in the air

across blue ocean
land of no man
dead tree branches
makeshift cot for resting...

in darkness of night
hazy blue skies
pulled high
into the cosmos
spiraling among constellations...

darkness all there was
eyes appeared in dark matter
looked down at me
then disappeared
into the expanse...

above land and sea
I walked in the earth
no mans land
where only darkness exist
With shadows of light.

Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

I can't help but wonder what the different beat was and what happened after that.
I'm hoping you could continue, and solve this mystery :~)
Ya had me glued to it, but I gotta admit that I was a bit disappointed at the end Hmm..
Keep it going,

~Mark~

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instead of the beat being one drumming it changed..i"m not sure how to explained the change except that it was maybe 2 or 3 beat of a different tempo

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka. All Neopoets welcome to join the Collaborative Poetry Writing Workshop.
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author comment

Just tell us what you see on your eyelids. Don't worry about the poetry, that comes later.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

not sure i see anything on my eye lid

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka. All Neopoets welcome to join the Collaborative Poetry Writing Workshop.
https://pixiblogs.blacpixi.com/

author comment

I really enjoyed your images. Each stanza seemed a vision on its own,
two connecting closely, but the rest loosely. The loosely connected ones,
especially the last one, reminded me of the mind jumping from place to place
without taking into account either space or time.

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

I wasn't sure what to write so i wrote what happened when I listening

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka. All Neopoets welcome to join the Collaborative Poetry Writing Workshop.
https://pixiblogs.blacpixi.com/

author comment

I knew you'd get it.

You just needed to look at the right eyelids, eh.
Ready for stage 2?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

it takes me a bit to get some things but i usually do if i really want to..i listen to what you said and wrote what i saw on my eyelid (the left eyelid be I'm blind in the right) and not what my inner voice said...i meditate a lot since august 2017 but didn't know i could write about it in poetry..i'm ready for stage 2

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka. All Neopoets welcome to join the Collaborative Poetry Writing Workshop.
https://pixiblogs.blacpixi.com/

author comment

High Five Barb :~)

~Mark~

Free membership is a great deal but if you wish for the best deal look here:
https://www.neopoet.com/premium

that's what we're all about

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

wasn't sure if that was what was acceptable to change the poem in this workshop to that extent

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka. All Neopoets welcome to join the Collaborative Poetry Writing Workshop.
https://pixiblogs.blacpixi.com/

author comment

Good imagery, description of floating above yourself and looking down, really excited to see what part 2 entails.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

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