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Remember Me

Remember me like the sun
That rises in a distance,
Like a paint of gold that spills
All over the dark sheet of the night,
Like the fleeting clouds
In a world still and unchanging.

Remember me like waking
From a slumber,
Unable to recall a sweet dream,
Like a beautiful house
In time abandoned and forgotten.

Remember like the mist
That bathes the grasses with dew,
Like the gust of wind
That blows - never returning,
Like a moving scenery
A sleepy-eyed traveler sees
On his long journey,
Like a lovely song
Buried deep in the heart
And can't be sung,
Like the silver moon
That fades at dawn of daybreak,

Remember the sunshine
When thinking of the bygone days.
Remember the laughter
When in paradise of lightsleepers.
Remember the vast flower field
When reliving a sweet memory.
Remember the smiles,
Not the tears shed.

Feel the happiness
While recalling my being silly.
And if perchance
The memories bring you tears,
Then remember me not.
I will still be here
In the field where flowers bloom,
Playing under the sun
Like I used to,
Living in a dream
And forever remebering you.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
As I mentioned, my old account can't be retrieved. So, I am moving my old works to this new one. I feel bad I lost my old notebook where I wrote all my old poems. I can only retrieve the once I've written for the past three years T_T
Editing stage: 

Comments

Long read but worth it. May I suggest a few items
it is not needed to keep repeating like
for example: line three sub the word like for as see how that feels to you
All over the dark sheet of night
how about instead
Over the dark sheet of night
second stanza line one replace like with as and so on an so fourth
I love the way the energy builds as far as I am concerned this is one incredible write nice work

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

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