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How pathetic it is
when a man sees his value in currency
though he is born priceless!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


is this little gem Khalid.
I like its brevity.

Try replacing "when" Line 3 with "though"
and remove the ",,," .You don't need them really.
Much enjoyed.


Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me

done the edit.


author comment

Very nice I can find nothing to suggest its a polished little gem

well done my friend

love and hugs JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

By the way, come check out "Listen","The Frustrated Zombie" and "Vampires' Night" when you have the time. the first one is very emotional as I was helping a friend , going through her divorce, the second one is for fun, asked by Stan and the last is a dark poem asked by Wesley. Tell me what you think.I'm still not good with meter.


author comment
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