Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.


Must be all alone to really be me-
Don’t want anyone to know or see me
Sitting alone in a corner of the

Man in the corner feels so low, he
Watches the shadows flit by slowly,
Wishing he was alone and safely

Asking himself for the hundredth time
Why he ever agreed to come,
Was it just his hope for something

He never really understood
What it was made others feel so

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


I only have one suggestion and that is removing the second 'me' from the 2nd line as it being so close to the first one used and if you wanted it to end line rhyme then 'see' is enough. :) I enjoyed this.

"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

First of all, thank you for taking the time with this little piece.
Pleased you enjoyed it.

If I may just try explain why I feel the "me" in the second line is required:
It has to do with meter. The rhyme I was going for was not the "me" of the first line with the "me" of the second line. Rather, it was the "be me" of the first line with the "see me" of the second line.

As with most of my work, this one too was written as a song, albeit a very short one. The song works on a 4/4 meter... i.e. four beats to every line.

Below I have capitalised the STRESSED syllables to try explain how i intended this to be heard / read;

As you will see, the last line of each "stanza" actually has just one word, being the first stressed syllable, with a long pause / space for the 2nd, 3rd and 4th beats of the line.

Must BE all a-LONE to RE-ally BE me-
Don’t WANT any-ONE to KNOW or SEE me
SIT-ting a-LONE in a COR-ner OF the
ROOM (...2...3...4...)

MAN in the COR-ner FEELS so LOW, he
WA-tches the SHA-dows FLIT by SLOW-ly,
WISH-ing he WAS a-LONE and SAFE-ly
HOME (...2...3...4...)

ASK-king him-SELF for the HUN-dredth TIME
WHY he EV-er a-GREED to COME,
WAS it JUST his HOPE for SOME-thing

HE never RE-ally UN-der-STOOD
WHAT it WAS made OTH-ers FEEL so
GOOD (...2...3...4...)

If you like, you can hear a 30 year old home recording of this song at but you will need to find it in your heart to overlook the tape hiss...LOL!

Thank you again for taking the time to read and comment.


author comment

Well now you've mentioned music it makes more sense, as when you hear music to a poem or lyrics the meter becomes quite the obvious thing as it adheres to the melody. lol I might just look that one up and give it a listen :P

"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

Thanks, Chez. Glad the explanation made sense to you.

author comment

I'm flattered that you would wish to use this explanation in your blog.

I read your blog and am absolutely ok with its use there. That said, you may want to slightly edit my personal comments between the two sets of lyrics. They seem a tad out of place there, being in the first person, etc....

author comment

I have to say that what I know of meter is "O" but what I do know is that the words of
(THE WALL FLOWER'S PRAYER) did speak to me. I enjoyed the read.
So I guess that the final line in this applies to me as far as meter goes;

"He never really understood
What it was made others feel so


Thank you for stopping by.
Glad this one touched a chord with you.
Been there, done that, myself.


author comment

Ah, how we suffer, lol!

Seriously, am pleased you enjoyed this one and it resonated with you.

Thanks for reading and commenting.


author comment

Hi Psyve, this made me feel like I was at a school disco ;) lol Pre Liberation indeed... these days I'm always the first on the dancefloor :) much love Beki xx Ps will give it a listen in a min xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

Ah, we went thru the same transition, then.
Mine just happened to be a lttle over three decades ago.

author comment

That's a very interesting take... never looked at it that way, but you are absolutely right: it works with that particular interpretation too.

Thank you for sharing that thought.


author comment

Well, you havent embarrassed me at all. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

author comment

Thank you. Glad you liked this one.
Your interpretation isnt far off the mark, I guess...
Thank you for taking the time.

author comment

about the meter I mean. I also got (understood the form) the poem and your music blog or site. Heck I am enjoying it as much if not more than here.


Glad you "get" the technical stuff about meter. If my explanation above to Chez was useful I am indeed pleased.
Pleased also that you seem to like some of what you have heard on my Soundclick page.

Thank you for taking the time to read, listen and comment.


author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.