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only

Submitted by IRiz on Mon, 2018-02-19 14:17

winter
nothing left
from my garden

only
it is not
how I see it

wet stones
remember
green abundance

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Workshop:

Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form

Comments

raj

Mon, 2018-02-19 15:26

What a coincidence. Just now

What a coincidence. Just now i posted a Sunku based on Winter making way to summer. Yours is more crisp with all aesthetics.

raj (sublime_ocean)

IRiz

Mon, 2018-02-19 16:08

Thank you, we do often think

Thank you, we do often think alike.

IRiz

author comment

Rula

Tue, 2018-02-20 02:38

Beautiful

Love it!!!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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IRiz

Tue, 2018-02-20 08:32

Thank you

IRiz

author comment

weirdelf

Tue, 2018-06-05 04:11

Now this strikes me as the epitome

of what you seemed to wish to achieve with the sunku form,
Wistful and elegant.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

IRiz

Tue, 2018-06-05 09:57

Hi Jess!
What a great way for me to start my morning.
Thank you for your comment.
When I wrote the words the little plot of land on a steep hill behind my house was a bare red clay with a few sticks and twigs. I placed a few rocks here and there in the idea of Zen garden.
I watched the drops of rain water splashing and jumping off of them and wrote this poem.
Now it is completely green almost foaming.
Deers leave hoof prints so I know they visit, but the plants are growing so fast that I can't see what deer damaged.
I also saw a snake, chipmunks, blue Jeys, red Cardinals and a bunch of dragonflies.
Have a good night!!!

IRiz

author comment

lovedly

Tue, 2018-06-05 12:05