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Reflecting shattered
strains of
stained glass light,
invoking the laws of physics...


Threaded a muted conversation
through soup can telephones
into this delusional bubble
within the Novocaine fog.

Unexpected disruption
in my comfortable illusion,
grating vibration buzzing in...

Inadvertently excavating
that secret chamber,
pressure sealed,

Only to find there are no treasures inside.....

For the Sphinx has lost them,
and the mummy's venom
reactivates in this bent light...

and digests me...

from the inside.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This poem placed 3rd in the category of poetry in the Florida Collegiate Honors Council's writing contest in 2014.
Editing stage: 


First and second must have been exceptional, because i think this is excellent. From that very first sentence to the last. Love Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Actually, 1st & 2nd that year were rather simplistic and straightforward compared to mine. (They were good don't get me wrong, but they didn't employ complicated metaphors at all.) Something I've noticed is that the masses like the stuff they can get the gist of easily, whereas poems like this one leave them scratching their heads. They know it's good and they like it, however, they prefer the stuff that's easier to understand. I was asked to prepare an explication to go with the poem for my reading that I was to give at the conference - I was the only one that had to give one! hahaha lol

It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

author comment

This write is up there with the tops, as I was saying only the other day, Neopoet should bring out a book and they seem to miss so many opportunities, this will be another,
Yours as always Ian.
PS:- Lovely to read your works again..


Impacted with homesickness or nostalgia for one's roots or home.

OIKOTROPIC: "The oikotropic feelings Nell experienced were strong enough for her to start to plan a trip home this weekend."

Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

I've been trying to ease myself back into writing. Started writing again recently and I was doing well, but my motivation stalled out again. Trying to keep things moving.

Thanks for the read, I'm glad you enjoyed the poem!! :-)

It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

author comment

it really worries me. I had to ask Roscoe to explain his last poem to me (thanks Roscoe) and now I am at a loss with this.
I like the sound and imagery but can't seem to get the gist.
Oikotropic upset me because I can't even get an association, let alone a meaning.

A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'

When this poem placed in the contest they asked me to prepare an explication to present with it when I did my reading. ;-) So they didn't completely get it either even though they gave me 3rd for it. So, here's the explication I gave at the conference:

Concerning the title of the poem, Oikotropic, it is the more obscure term that is synonymous with ecotropic, which means homesick, a strong desire to return to one's home. Also, in virology, a retrovirus that can replicate only in the host of the species in which it originated. I chose Oikotropic because of the prefix, which is derived from the Greek word oikos, which is the equivalent of household, house or family. The feeling described in the poem is a vague sensation of which I could not give a direct explanation of if asked and that is why I chose the more obscure word as the title.

As poems go, the underlying premise for the poem is fairly simple. It's about a conversation between me and a friend and the underlying effects of the conversation on me.

The poem was written when I was going through a difficult situation for such a long period of time that I became numb to the fact that the situation was as bad as it was. (Hence, the reference to the Novocain fog.) The realization of this fact occurred while I was thinking about my friend's happiness and it ended up putting my own unhappiness back into sharp perspective. At that point in time, I felt like I didn't feel at home in my own life - like I had been displaced from what was normally a mostly happy and stable world.

The soup can telephones were used as a reference to happier carefree times of childhood - an example of the longing for sense of security and "home". "The secret chamber, pressure sealed" is a reference to the tendency to lean towards repression in an overwhelming situation. The absent treasure refers to the emotional resources that have been used up because of the circumstances. The mummy's venom in the poem is related to the longing for happier times, and the grief that even the longing itself can cause. So in the end, the happy memories became the virus that would affect only me, forever lingering like an incurable disease to torment me in the midst of my unhappiness.

(Also, an extra tidbit, the sphinx is one of the nicknames assigned to me by some old poet friends, so that is a direct reference to me.)

It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

author comment

Like the title and dig how its reflected..(pun intended from me) into the dream like
visage smoothness of this write!!
I like articulation of word use and association and setting
together to invoke thought feeling

very dazzling

thank U

the dreamy quality comes through clearly to me
the sound..the light....

I'm glad that the words evoked the dream-like feeling, that's what I frequently try to do with my imagery in most poems but it doesn't always work out as well as it has in this one.

I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. :-)

It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

author comment

there is much pain in the write...its very soothing..
the sphinx has lost them... so many stories about loss
just getting in touch with some of mine whom move their life in to a basement
that the evil grandmothers forget to tell floods every
spring.....made up this pretty room with curtians
one day home from school...teddies bears drowned
in the muddy water albums of childhood
friends family glued together like visions of cataract eyes...
the sphinx.....beautiful monument too..your use of subjects
put a peaceful weighty impact to this!

light bending....primates fixate on middle distance when
digest from the inside...
hope comes from all places
like treasures...

its a terrific poem...thank U Blue_Halcyon!

There are times in life when we have to equate things against what we know or have learned.
I know you have been on a soul searching Journey and those around you have needed you when all you wanted to do was return to your own sanctuary.
We are free thinking creations young lady and we wander from experience to the next, each in their own way are fine, but its the joining of the feelings from many, that make us long for those places we have left far behind.
There is no return, so we have to make our own peace within our own self, and in doing so we can then cope with life.
Our home in later life is where we are no matter how much we try to return.
The old home we knew has long gone and even the memories fade, I try to keep those I loved with me at all times, but though the love is as strong the faces fade, and the pain of moving away grows less, as we accept the reality of where we are is our new home, and there we will make new memories.
I hope that your new memories are as good as those you have in that lovely place within.
Not sure if I am making sense but I have just written things as they fall through my mind to the keys, Yours Ian xx

Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

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