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Oh! divine prayers

Submitted by loved on Thu, 2013-07-11 22:06

they bought a fish
I said she will die,
yes they say we all have to...
but the single one
was left alone in isolation
did it have to moan
so the fish swam all alone
none to talk to
none to collide
none to chase
nor be chased far and wide

she went all about
in search of solace
till divinity welcomed her
to her royal palace

she has been relieved of all isolation
and
under the soil now interned
from dust to dust
we all do
even if we are not in isolation
still we all do

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Ian.T

Fri, 2013-07-12 03:25

Ian.T's picture
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I have a long time ago written a poem about someone not looking after a goldish it was a fun piece I will see if I can find it.
Would the word Return go amiss as the last word in this piece???
Change of tack their young Bard a good direction though,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

loved

Fri, 2013-07-12 12:09

loved's picture

all life starts and ends here

have you ever seen a dead rat or a branded cow ever
so is it with all living beings
me thinks

loved

author comment

lonlyhrtsclub13

Fri, 2013-07-12 10:58

lonlyhrtsclub13's picture

for most people as well. Some of us spend a lifetime alone, whether by choice or because we are misunderstood, but in the end, we do not go unnoticed. We find our place in the sun and enjoy a peaceful eternity....well written...

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

loved

Fri, 2013-07-12 12:06

loved's picture

this is true
and isolation for mankind
is a curse equally
choice or otherwise

loved

author comment

Ian.T

Wed, 2013-07-17 03:36

Ian.T's picture
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How can you ever be alone,
there are people out there that read your words
and become a part of you in that reading.
As I said to Carrie it just takes a look inside.
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Ian.T

Wed, 2013-07-17 03:34

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

You are never alone,
all you need to do is look inward to your soul,
There you will find like souls
and then you will be in a grand company of many,
First you must realise that out there is really cruel
and needs a strength to belong.
Always remember that it just takes a thought
to belong inside.
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

loved

Wed, 2013-07-17 10:18

loved's picture

that I must openly accept and say

loved

author comment

lonlyhrtsclub13

Wed, 2013-07-17 11:20

lonlyhrtsclub13's picture

I have spent my entire life trying to figure out where I belong and continue to come up short. Looking inside myself, I realize myself is all I really have. In the grand scheme of things, our children grow up and move on with their lives, in my case, my partner will inevitably move on to greener pastures as I am not the one he actually seeks....all of it is rather sad for me even though I know it is something I can't avoid...sometimes I pray for the afterlife so I can be with those I have lost...those who hadn't turned away...

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

loved

Wed, 2013-07-17 11:40

loved's picture

some day
one day
perhaps
just may be today
none that one can say
god may only Bless
if he may!

loved

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