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Offer All
Make it an adventure,
an adventure guided
by the confines of love
And every turn
Every beat of your heart
Must see and say
And sing it softly
Just enter, -total!
glorious!
and without reserve,
saying, "I show all"
Ooh! and to offer all
To offer all!
O sweet, sweet heart
Could you offer all!
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Sun, 2024-04-07 22:10
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
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Lavender
Mon, 2024-04-08 10:05
Offer All
Hello, Tyro,
I feel the energy here! Amen! I do wonder about the word "confines" as it seems there are no confines to love as you've described. Seems it would be vast, endless, and freeing!
Thank you for this energetic and inspiring poem!
L
tyro
Tue, 2024-04-09 09:31
Hi Lavender
think of it this way; you can go on an adventure to exact revenge, or primote evil, or satisfy vanity,etc. What I meant, do nothing that is outside the sphere of love. because this was misunderstood I will think of a way to make my intent more clear.
thanks for your thoughts.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
author commentCandlewitch
Tue, 2024-04-09 07:09
Dear tyro,
It is very nice to see AI made speechless for a change! In line four, try deleting the word (and) read it without, see if it doesn't feel and sound right to you? more smooth? I really like the premise of this poem! there is nothing not to like about it...great job!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
tyro
Tue, 2024-04-09 09:42
hello Candlewitch
you are right, it does sound better without the and in line four.
I guess a poem based solely on triggering a high emotional responce, would leave an emotionless AI without words.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
author comment