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Ode To Coffee

Submitted by T. Harmonee on Wed, 2017-08-23 11:41

I meet you in the morning coffee.
Saturdays and Sundays are our playdates.

You greet me along side a plate of bacon,
scrambled eggs, and fried apples.
A cup of creamy comfort,

dressed in a lovely light brown
with a touch of cloud white.

Warm waves of french vanilla,
caramel, and some days irish cream,
swim down to my stomach like a raft
along a river current.

My palms hug you. The tips of my fingers stroking,
soaking up every molecule of heat from the 8 oz,
14 oz or 16 oz, mug or tumbler.
And there is no way I'll let you go.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
This is my first crack at an ode. If anyone has any suggestions or tips on how I can improve my writing of odes, I'd appreciate it.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Shyanne18

Wed, 2017-08-23 13:42

Shyanne18's picture

The Unknown Poet

Make a donation we can't stay without poets like you.

Shyanne18

Wed, 2017-08-23 13:42

Shyanne18's picture

I thought this made a image of a beautiful morning painted in my head. It was so lovely and made me feel warm. When I got to the numbers I felt like in interrupted the flow.

Great poem
God bless

The Unknown Poet

Make a donation we can't stay without poets like you.

weirdelf

Thu, 2017-08-24 20:37

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

Improve your vocabulary, learn words and expressions to allow yourself to express your yourself in an original ways to avoid cliches and advertising phrases.

This has been suggested to you before.

Read good poetry and literature.

Take risks and expand your experiences.

You could do so much better.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

T. Harmonee

Fri, 2017-08-25 13:42

T. Harmonee's picture

I've known that I've had to improve my vocabulary to improve my writing, I guess I don't have any idea where I can start.

"Poetry is music for the human voice. Until you actually speak it or someone speaks it, it has not come into it's own."
- Maya Angelou

author comment

weirdelf

Fri, 2017-08-25 15:31

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

Fiction is best for vocabulary, inspiration and stimulation of the brain.
Read the Romanitic poets- Coleridge, Byron, Worthsworth, Yeats, Keats- The Mersey Sound- "The Mersey Sound, Lthe Liddipudlian poets, Brian Pattern, Adrian Henry and Roger McGough influenced The Beatles!

I agree with you that it is music for the human voice but it is far best read to learn it's intricacies, subleties and meanings. , You will never achieved your intentional, even reach a medium of level of ability if you don't read the great poets and learn from them.

Consider rap poetry today. It 'rhymes good, but the content is often abysmal.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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