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How The Phone Rings

Submitted by T. Harmonee on Fri, 2019-06-21 13:28

The phone rings
Like a belly dancer’s hips
The dings shake and shift
Back and forth,
Bashing me upside the head
Slipping into the quiet
Like tap shoes on a cedar floor
Each step kicking against my nerves

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

tyro

Sat, 2019-06-22 06:05

a short piece but rich in simile and metaphor. I like it.

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

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