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Not So Alone
Criminal mind accused falsely,
tried by a hung jury.
Blind men of no valor,
only victims of circumstance.
Blank staring faces.
What is your question?
Or ponder this plausibility?
Reaction to that complication.
Refuse the participation.
This pain is not ours to share.
We are self-gratified.
Somehow carved out granite faces
disguise the truth of our ability.
Cross my fingers, a hollow man.
Swollen fingers, running through grains of sand.
Stolen heart, pounding with each tick of the clock.
I’m blind; or so you say.
I’m blind in this way or that way.
I can see. I can see. I can see.
Style / type:
Free verse
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Wed, 2023-01-11 07:42
Welcome back
You write beautifully. Sorry life got crazy on ya. Good on you for being aware and taking a break from stuff. It’s a good habit.
I’m going to come back to this a little later. I like the way you see things and are able to word them appropriately to deliver the right feel.
I’m glad you’re in calmer water now,
Tim
Jordyn Alyssa
Thu, 2023-01-12 03:18
Thank you so much, I actually
Thank you so much, I actually forgot to put this bit in like a caption or something, but I actually wrote this with my dad so I'll let him know that you think he writes nice as well :)
author commentCandlewitch
Wed, 2023-01-11 09:00
hello,
you have posed some very heavy duty situations and circumstances. this requires some deep scrutiny. by the way...nice to meet you!
*hugs, Cat
*ever, eddy styx
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Jordyn Alyssa
Thu, 2023-01-12 03:21
Hello Cat!!
Hi Cat :) been forever since I've been on here but it is wonderful to get to meet Eddy Styx's other side but yes, thank you for taking time to read mine & my fathers piece
author commentGeezer
Wed, 2023-01-11 10:18
I'm feeling this one...
I think I get the picture. This one details the way the rest of the world sees the American public; with the media shoveling news
down our throats that is meant to agitate and stir us up for higher ratings on T.V. and social media. I do believe that the world could be a better place if the media were to restrict themselves to just reporting the news and not speculating and pushing theories. Good job! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Wed, 2023-01-11 22:52
Not So Alone
Hello, Jordyn,
I am curious about so much here. It feels to me that it speaks of our criminal justice system, but possibly more. I am really intrigued with the lines regarding the granite faces disguising the truth of our ability. Reminds me of our country just a few years ago as we questioned so many statues and monuments that represented some of our harshest times. I can interpret and relate to the blind reference to myself, personally. So much out there that needs a sharper look. I'll look forward to your response!
Thank you!
Lavender
Jordyn Alyssa
Thu, 2023-01-12 03:15
hello, so I actually wrote
hello, so I actually wrote this with my dad meaning that he & I will definitely have different takes on what they piece means. For me, the granite faces part of this piece is basically just showing that the different parts of the personality are all working & talking together at this point. I really cant word what I'm trying to say correctly but one thing is for sure, and that's that I'm trying haha, so hopefully you could slightly understand or at least get a little bit of the jist of what I was trying to say.
author commentLavender
Thu, 2023-01-12 09:10
Hello, Jordyn,
Thank you for the explanation. I do understand better. Two people working on the same poem can bring about some different and interesting thoughts. Your title has a clearer meaning to me, now, too. I look forward to reading more!
L