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The Never Looking Glass

Serendipity winked at me today
and allowed to me, your song;

familiar was your melody
so I yearned to sing along.

Then I saw with mine own eyes
what danced in mine own head,

I saw the way you looked at me,
so I looked away, instead.

I could not have apologized
for wearing on my sleeve,

what you so quickly mesmerized,
and I could not retrieve.

Then I passed a looking glass
and glimpsed a vision, cursed;

I tried to gain composure
but your reflection went by first.

I stammered uncontrollably
unable to be clever;

our ships set sail unevenly
teaching me the meaning of,"never".

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


Love this...sum up the majority of my relationships...and the one you can never let go..the realization of what will never be...that you will never be the one for anyone, only one of the ones as they move on before the sheets are even cold...excellent write....

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

...for the kind words of encouragement. so.....we've been there, have we?
doc. :-)

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

I have been there more times than not, still think I am there. I always seem to be in the NEVER good enough stage of relationships. Try as I might, I am a dismal failure in the eyes of my partner. I use writing as an outlet for my frustration. It is always nice to see that I am not alone in this boat....thanks for the great read!

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

One of your better writes of late, brings back memories and reasons for remembering lol.
Take care young Doc,
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

...sir ian; and i truly hope all is well with thy lady love.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment
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