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My Humble Perspective

When God created
The beauty He
Created the bird,
The grass,
And the tree,

He created the
Colorful mountain,
The sublime ocean,
and the sea,

He put
The twinkling star
In the darkest night,

And the golden sun
To warm the heart,

And He created
Thee

Version#2

When God created
The beauty He
Created the
nightingale chanting
for free

He created
An ocean
Churning with emotion

He created a
Lively sun,
And a lustful
Moon,

He created you.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 

Comments

Great perspective Rula about the Creator and His Creation

Just wondering if a comma is necessary in the line..

He, put
.............................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Appreciate the read and the spot on correction.
Thank you!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I was drawn to this poem to absorb it's gentle beauty. Just a thought would 'warm the heart" be a good alternative?
............................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

I implemented as suggested. I added a new version too .
What do yoy think of version #2?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I prefer Version 1
............................

raj (sublime_ocean)

dear raj... I like version # 1 better too.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

Your experienced at this Rula and its not without its goodness But I think you know deeply that this is old ground the way it pegs everything down The sun is high the seas are deep kinda thing
The question is what now? Can you surprise your self, find new neuropathways, find new language
try something suggestive instead of drama of the obvious?

I totally agree. I think I've rushed this one.
I've added a new version with some real edits.
I think you will like it. What about you?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

I totally agree. I think I've rushed this one.
I've added a new version with some real edits.
I think you will like it. What about you?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

Better :)
What about me are you asking?

Sorry. I wanted to ask what do you think about it.
I am glad you think it's better.
I think I'll keep the two versions for some time. I always prefer what pops first in my head and spontaneously write itsel. :)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

If there is god then he created all bad as well as all good or at least the ability for us humans to create good as well as bad choices. I've always maintained that if god created human then it must have passed on some creativity. So it goes in some beliefs that god made human in his image :~)

The new version has more real balance ;)
Later,

.
.
That's how I see it,

Mark L.

Passing by this one Mark, and the time.
Each has his own beliefs I think.
Thank you!!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

I thought I sent a reply to your comment this morning. Not sure what has exactly happened.
Welcome to Neopoet dear and many thanks for reading and liking my thoughts.
Highly appreciate it and looking forward to reading your works
Soon
Many thanks.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment
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