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MEN AND HYENAS

Submitted by Trail on Sun, 2024-01-14 04:51

Sometimes I wish I was a hyena
Running free through the woods
And laughing my head off every night
At the absurdity of all of this

God, how wonderful would it be
To drink from the streams and lie in the grass
To feel the breeze in my hair at night and howl
Under a million stars

But somehow I know this is all fantasy
Not the being a hyena part
But the part about freedom
For in this world
Not even the hyenas are free

The world is getting smaller and smaller
And there's less of everything good to be had
Less joy, less peace, and yes, less freedom
Not even the hyenas are free

The nights are becoming longer and lonelier
Colder too, and heavy with silence
It seems to me there are less stars in the sky
And they aren't as shiny as they used to be

Sometimes I wish I was a hyena
At least I could still laugh at this world
This cold and joyless world
Where there is less and less humor to be found

Anyway, let me get back inside
These stars will still be up tomorrow niggt
They'll be dimmer and fewer in number
But I take comfort in knowing that
Not even the hyenas are free
A. SWANTALALA

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Last few words:

Forgive me for the length. I can't seem to be able to condense everything into a few short stanzas, that's just how I write and I'd hate to change it. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

Neopoet Weekly 01/14/24 to 01/20/24

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

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Comments

neopoet

Sun, 2024-01-14 10:51

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

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Sen99

Sun, 2024-01-14 07:21

A well crafted thought provoking piece
I really enjoyed this poem, taking an animal metaphor for a human trait
The last 3 stanzas have a melancholy which is gives the piece an evocative ending.
Thanks for the share
Sen

Trail

Sun, 2024-01-14 16:52