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Memories Flow Back Too

I go back,
Sometimes it’s filled with pain,
I go back,
Nothing will be the same,
Precious places
I first knew,
When life and youth
And love were new,
I flow back,
Memories flow back too.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

piece of work to start the day. Not free verse though. The rhyme stands out. I think that maybe you should look at deleting the word [though]. It kind of makes a stutter in the first lines. I would say that you should put it at the head of the second line, but then it makes it look awkward. I think it better to get rid of it. I like it just as much and it doesn't change the meaning any.
As always, it's your work and yours to do with what you will. I am not the know-all here. See what other people think. ~ Geez.
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It looks good, I have to say, thanks for that, Geezer. I do think this improves the piece to remove 'though', ''cos' and 'and'. Much appreciated.

author comment

thumbs up! Ypou are right, it sounds much better. Glad to help. ~ Geez.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

So damn cool, like a boomarang of memories that we all have. Geezer has given you a great review, I'm from your neck of the woods so maybe language is more understood. But absolutely wonderful to know the opinions of those elsewhere, Geezer has really awoken my stuff with his thoughts too. Usually I never read reviews but I quite like reading those geezer leaves, always a way to learn.

Thank you...Teddy

I'm so pleased you like it, yes, both from London, born and bred, me. Geezer gave me some great advice, I tried it, and liked what I saw. I am with you there, it is great to learn, there is always more to know in the poetry game, I love it all. Bye for now. Carl.

author comment

I don't think a few rhymes preclude a poem from being free verse. Indeed I have been saying here for years that hybrid poetry like this might be the direction in which poetry is heading. I have no suggestions for improvement (and Thai is a bit rare lol)

It does seem that way, although whether that is a good thing or not is down to the individual.

author comment
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