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Lost In Cyber-Space...

Daddy, are we there yet?
Voices in the back seat
For the thousandth time, I'll bet
"I'm hungry, I want to eat"

I didn't make it so
I didn't use warp-speed
Captain Luke would know
It's his wisdom, that I need

The kids are fighting, raising Hell
The back seat is a mess
My nerves are broken, I'm a shell
No star-map in my GPS,

We're going to be an hour late
I guess we've lost the race
I wonder what will be our fate
I think we're lost in Cyber-space

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

The poem seems to be a dramatic poem in it's nature because it had characterization in it which makes it more interesting.

Lost in cyberspace displayed voices of entire family for quest of answer or research in the cyberspace.. Though the poet distilled a unique way to make up his characterization. In the poem, there are flat and dynamic characters that stands as pillar in this lovable piece.

The question i would ask 'Geeze 'where is the setting or location of this dramatic piece'.

It was a good presentation in all ramification. I loved the way your rythming skill appeared. As in first stanza: aa, and other stanzas, ab just like alternate rythme.

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

this is partly memories of taking any of many long trips with my children. We used to go to family-attractions and sometimes hiking and fishing, and car trips when the boys were young, and they might be cranky, as children sometimes are for various reasons, [like maybe getting up earlier than usual to start out]. And because of stopping for bathroom breaks, something to snack on and getting lost, we frequently would be late in getting where we were going. Nothing dramatic and kind of an everyday situation for many people with children trying to go somewhere. Many of my poems reflect everyday life and things that might affect the common man. Thank you for the read and comments.~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

Now you've brought me home with pure description.

Thank you!

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

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