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Light My Way... [April contest]

Hail to the lamp that shows the way
From the early lights
Made with sticks and hay

Flames contained in bowls of oil
Wicks made from cloth
Rolled in a coil

Lamps that shone on vellum bleached
Light to see by
While concepts reached

Flames reflected in shining glass
Tended and fed
Fuels of fat or gas

Lightning trapped in the wire
Loosed with a switch
Burning, sunlike fire

Oh flames of blue, white and yellow
I see the light
Guide this fellow

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Interesting take on the varied media of illumination. Light is certainly something that we often take for granted and do not properly acknowledge, (except in cases for it's absence). The same can be said for 'inspiration' and/or 'illumination', (so-to-speak). Thought provoking.

Lamps are one of the most important inventions of our history. They have pushed back the night and made it possible for us to work in places and times to advance the human race. Who doesn't love the warm glow of a lamp when the night closes in? ~ Geezer.
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Flames contained in bowls of oil(Indian DIYA as in DIVALI)
Wicks made from cloth(COTTON THEY USE)
Rolled in a coil(This flames slowly& lasts longly)

nice Ode
enjoyed it
I've read so many
hope you win

sad I ain't judging around this time
GEEE
LOL

but I can't win the contest, because I am one of the people responsible for helping arrange them. I just enter to have the fun of participation. It's alright, I will maybe take some time off in the future and be eligible. I am a general history buff and like to know the conditions of life in past eras. Simple inventions that have made life easier and more comfortable are something that I have always been interested in. ~ Gee.
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u and stan are explorers

I explore also- other sites now more and pass on the teachings of jess urs and eumol's
to many more
all must learn and share what we know
life is just a flicker only
the candle blows off
softly slowly yet surely
but at times it lingers

more Diwali diyas one must import
fill mustard oil -not POL
avoid explosion -lol

nice of you Gee
to summon me
here I be
as LOVED
ONCE THEN NOW LOVEDLY
MAY ASK STAN A THIRD LIFE
NEW HP
LOST MY OLD PW
SO SHALL WISH TO COME IN AS
LOVERLY
IF STAN DOES SAY
PERMISSION
I can't leave neo
its blood now in my veins does flow
GRANTED

Sometimes I think about how dark our planet must have looked from orbit at night just 150 years ago. And how now there are laces and pools of light infall developed ares. Then there's the changes in life brought by the electric light, how factories began to run at night and folks started staying up later into the night.......and do stuff like read and write poetry lol

Now, there is so much glow from the lights of cities and mall complexes, that one can barely see the constellations sometimes. The area I live in is so urbanized that in order to get a clear view of the skies, that I would have to travel twenty miles or more. Yes, it is a shame that we have polluted our skies in yet another way! At least we have poetry to read about the beauty of the stars and it probably was written by electric light! LoL

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love this

Glad you enjoyed. ~ Geezer.
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This is a damn good poem. I cant offer anything but praise for a really well written poem.. I have watched and read your rise through poetry. I love Killer you know that but there is a certain lightness no pun intended here that permeates from your writing that I havent noticed before.

You're looking at the world differently. By the way I can still see some stars here at night. BUT I adore being in the bush and admiring the stars, sigh I reckon they should turn off all non essential power for 2 hrs at night. So kids get off their games and see the real wonder and magnificence of a star lit night sky.

Ok I will stop rambling. I love this one you're going to be hard to beat. Look forward to the next poem I'm about to read.

I'm going to try my hand at a contest just for the fun of being set to a strict meter.

Love and higgliest bugs sis x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

It has been a long trek. And still many miles to go. I have those days when Killer is not cooperating and won't be bothered by the pretty flowers to sniff along the way. So I have to write of stars and skies and light. Not as interesting as Killer, but at least Sir Gee gets his chance to shine! I am thinking of revisiting their kinship and letting them battle it out again, [although, not for the last time]. Maybe that is why Killer has been so ornery lately? Maybe he misses the playful discussions they used to have?
Yeah, I would hope that you find the time to enter our contests. I'm sure that you have as good a chance to win as anyone.
Thank you Sis, love and higgest bugs xxx ~ Gee.
.

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You won the April contest and well deserved

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

Your title was a perfect frame for this smooth ride on rhythm and rhyme. It all came together neatly with each stanza and brought back long ago memories for this writer when lightning struck and my grandmother brought out the lamps she lit so we could see each other rather than the dark. If this is something you called "Editing - rough draft", I look forward to reading more of your work. Congratulations, indeed!

Marthalyn

I'm not sure about how well some of my work would be received, but feel free to comment on anything that you do read. Even the stuff that's a few years old, is fair game. I love going back and finding critique and comment on my old stuff. Sometimes, I find things about it that I wouldn't have noticed or forgotten what I was going to do with it. ~ Geezer.
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