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Life At Dawn

Submitted by Willy on Mon, 2012-03-19 20:48

It’s a brand new dawn
hear the birds sweetly singing.
See them flying, perching grooming, canoodling
Darting here and there all in a happy play.

The rays of sunlight
Those radiant beams a glowing.
Uninvited guests they are but welcoming
For at every visit are burdens to slay.

The dew on the rose buds
slowly melting in the morning sun dripping.
Down to the ground undoubtedly, cooling, irrigating
I’ve never seen life so happy and gay.

There’s a gentle breeze blowing
bringing the trees to a lively dance swaying.
The leaves in a well punctuated beat whistling
This have already made my day.

The bust of life in the farmyard
In its chaos I’m drawn to the harmonies and melodies.
Their squabbles over feeding and mating rights instantly settled
How relieving to see life in such stress free way.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Candlewitch

Tue, 2012-03-20 12:36

Candlewitch's picture
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Life At Dawn. Thank you for allowing me to see life through your eyes. Spring is here for sure! I liked these lines best:

The bust of life in the farmyard
In its chaos I’m drawn to the harmonies and melodies.
Their squabbles over feeding and mating rights instantly settled
How relieving to see life in such stress free way.

always, Cat

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loved

Tue, 2012-03-20 12:58

loved's picture

we all adorn....
especially the one
when we were born .

Yes that twas the
loveliest morn....

loved

scribbler

Tue, 2012-03-20 17:04

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I read this and then read it again to figure out what was bothering me about it. Then I decided it must be the way you actually used sets of rhyming words in a free verse poem! This is rare enough to deserve praise in and of itself but the imagery was also very good. . I've been telling folks that rhyme can reinforce free verse but most people avoid doing so as if it is something against nature lol.............stan

Willy

Tue, 2012-03-20 18:16

Willy's picture

hi scribbler,

your comments are very much appreciated and what you had to say about my playfulness. I love it!

always
Willy

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