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Lay

the rain drips
sweet sonnets
hes exhausted
his girl far from home
his boots and clothes
shoved under
the bed
Old habits
the ceilings
sparking through
the blinds
like soft diamonds
thinks of her hand
that ring
smiles and smokes
stubs the butt
in the empty bottle
just enough to
soak
hairs greasy
beard unkempt
eyes bloodshot
from the nights
not slept
Pins in his leg
aching
like his spine
but hes not
whinning
the juice
and pills
slow him down
let the dreams
roam
no chair under
the knob
can keep her
back
she drifts too
him when his
eyes close
coos in his ear
with those lips
soft as a feather
like her angels
wings
feel the weight
she carries
shaking the load
from his back
like a buddy down
the trail
watching your
six
beneath the
pillow the familar
mass
like forever
she waits
till he slips
beneath the
visage of
dreams
he cant see
her crying
like the rain
outside
trying
washing
down the
ache of the day
wishing she
could lay
and stay

....

Editing stage: 

Comments

and Mondays... I like the on and off again rhyming, something that I have experimented with on occasion myself. Not even going to comment on typos and all that crap. Feels good enough to let that shit slide! Friends, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

The linear form of this emphasizes the continual yearning felt by the protagonist. Could use an apostrophe here and there to ease the flow..............stan

Just another great write,
that played with my thoughts in a good way,
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

I read, I was impressed.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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