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January 2013: Fire NSW

hot wind
rattles branches

bone dry tree

the artery of fire
cracks and bleeds

it is so beautiful, it is so terrible

ash falls, wood snow,
bone dry tree

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
For those of you, here today in NSW, this is one of those scary days:a tinderbox waiting for a lightening strike, some idiot with a match, maybe just a piece of glass in the bush catching the sun- and suddenly the trees are on fire and the bush blazes, it snows ash. It is so beautiful and so terrible. Lives are changed, and people run.
Editing stage: 


We are there with you all, sending out our love, and thoughts that you all will be safe.
Your write was very good and didn't waste a word, well written.
Yours as always Ian.T and Friends

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thank you, sweet man. Tomorrow will be a fierce day, hopefully all will be well.

Jenifer Jaspa James

author comment

I only just realised you come from NSW !! where abouts do you live ? I live on the mid north coast a little city called Taree I am sure you've heard of it ...

its a great poem as Ian said not a word out of place

excellent work much better than my poor attempt


soooo nice to have another aussie in the fold :) !!

hugs JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Dear JC, please never, ever, ever, ever down your poetry - this is about us all sharing and learning and being in this wonderful forum. Your comments and your poetry are just lovely, your warmth and talent shines. We all write differently, that is all. I write bare bones, you write from your heart.
I'm down in Nowra - and of course I have heard of Taree. how exciting - maybe we will even meet up! Hope so. XXX

Jenifer Jaspa James

author comment

I only say it as I see it lol its ok I've just had a bad week here's hoping it improves
I think your a wonderful poet you really have that something I'm going to love watching
You grow this is a good place if you want to better your work

Would love to meet up sometime not many poets around where I come from lol

Hugs n love ~

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Hugs and love to you too, may your week get better and sweeter.

Jenifer Jaspa James

author comment

both beautiful and terrible at the same time. I could see in my mind's eye, the storm of ash-like snow blanketing the parched and arid land. The brevity is striking. Looking forward to seeing more of your work. ~ Geezer

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

thank you, Geezer - you seem like an extra-ordinary man (checked your profile). What is your 'Chat on Darkside' and would I be welcome to listen in? details, please?

Jenifer Jaspa James

author comment
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