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Trees whip wild
trees whip wild in white dry winds
electricity sparks death ghosts whirl in the cacophony darkness
smoke ballooning howls of red the forest bends broken at its knees
Black trunks fall roar through flames creatures run skin blazing screaming
dying
the agony of it
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
This is not a 'kind' poem. This is about my present reality. It's real - where living on the raw end end of emotion - which is the only way of making sense of reality. I wish my reality was different.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Shelby Pryor
Wed, 2023-10-04 22:35
I understand this so well.
I understand this so well. Life can be brutal. Reality can suck. But you portrayed this so accurately.