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If there was a such a thing

Receive from which I can give

For you, none is held back

All exposed ,

Though none withered or cold

Because your love is ..

Well just that Your love

Unequivocally pure and unmatched

More golden then the sun's hue

Is what i feel for you

To say you make my day brighter Is an understatement

I know this poem wont do it ..

It can not fill you in on how much i love you that is.

Because no matter how many words or lines I write

I ll always come up short of expression

See babe I have a confession

The love i have for you will never die cause even when we do,

I ll still love you

Review Request (Intensity): 
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Comments

when writing love poems full of praise it's hard to avoid some common traps. there's a lot of vague compliments and comparisons of your love. find a way to make it more personal. it should feel like it could only be about you and nobody else.

I'm sure it is heartfelt and personal, but that is all it is.

Think about it, give your reader a chance to engage, rather than feeling they are reading a Hallmark card.

cheers,
Jess
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Thanks guys

author comment

but I strongly suggest you read a lot of classical love poems before tackling the themem again, it will show you the pitfalls to avoid.

I strongly believe that, apart from a few genius savants no-one learns to write good poetry without reading a lot of it.

It's kind of like deciding to build a house and working out concepts like foundations and brick making as you go, when the information is freely available and would save you from several collapsed dwellings as you learned.

cheers,
Jess
Everything changes bar one. Neopoet's 'Prime Directive'-
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As Jess says love poems have been captured by the masters of poetry through the ages.
We could do with a competition to see if we can come up with a good love poem.
The other thing is Clichés and hackneyed things, it is hard but there are workshops here that will help in that direction, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

THank you guys. Trust me i love the comments. I like to know what people think. I know that i can change my style or write with matching stanzas and everything but i just like being different. Idk. I just like writing what comes to mind . I just write for fun

author comment

but one small point, in this poem you are not being different, you are being the same.

I would love to read something of yours on a different theme. You definitely have the skill with words to express profound thoughts.

cheers,
Jess
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i kinda thought you didnt think i had skill :) .Thanks weirdelf. What do you think i should write about.

author comment

42

cheers,
Jess
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whats 42?

author comment

In Douglas Adam's "The Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy" they discover the final answer to life, the universe and everything is '42'.

Then they have to figure out what the question is.

cheers,
Jess
Everything changes bar one. Neopoet's 'Prime Directive'-
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the answer to it all. life. the universe. everything.

check out 'hitchikers guide to the universe'. there's a movie now.
you'd surprise weird if u did write something about it, though.

t_f

I was born in 42 and they told me that it was a key to everything.
As I grew older I knew what they were talking about.
Now at a mere 70, I have the key to nearly everything, there is only one door to go through and that uses 42 the key of life.
42 through to 42 in the twinkling of an eye...
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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