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My heart

You often take my breathe away
Which is more then I can ever say
For any other dime or stray
That has ever come my way
With you, it’s been different
Way different
From any other
I remember when I was that shy guy
Who caught your eye
Who would be afraid to try
Any thing
You liked that. But I think you like it more
Now that I’ve grown into a man that you adore
More mature
Yea, you like it… but it is what we have that you love
I remember the first time I laid eyes on you
You have remained forever a dream come true
You always tell me you’re the lucky one
But I can’t lie and say I am not as well
Because out of all the men in the world
You chose me
Sometimes I don’t think you see your truth worth
You are god’s gift to this earth
And as much as I was searching
You found me when I wasn’t
And that’s how I know
You and me
I mean you and I
Are his gift
So for another,
I could never wish
I love you whitney fleming
More then life it self
Cause your my gift
Still sitting with a bow on top
Just smile
Your not dreaming

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
Last few words: 
I write differently from everyone else. I know this. :)
Editing stage: 

Comments

It usually means it is badly written, cliched love crap.

Not so of this this. You write with intelligence and cogency.

Just one horrible cliche
'You are god’s gift to this earth'

I also wonder if the last line should be
Your not dreaming
or
You're not dreaming

Big difference.

cheers,
Jess
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