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I was lost

Curiosity of a child
Leads her far and wide
The birds in the sky glide along
She joins the fun
Singing while they hum.

Wanders through the bushes
Admires the roses
Little does she know
She's lost beyond reach.

Earth to Dorothy
No longer in her world
Of fantasies
She realizes
How deep
So deep she is
In a dark hole of CREEPIES!!

Dead into the the night
Overwhelmed with fright
She cries
"Help, help, help me
I'm lost and can't be set free."

Rain to sun now upon snow
Now its really cold
She's waiting
Waiting for the sign
Of hope held so dear.

Last few words: 
The poem is about a girl who admires nature and everything in it. As she moves on, she is lost in her imagination and isn't really aware. Coming back to the real world, she is shocked to find her self in a hole surrounded by large creepy insects. She cries out for help as darkness approaches but to no avail. As many seasons pass by, she waits for the sign of hope.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

hello Cammy,
has the child died and become a ghost? I really like this poem, the title is good and it flows along well! the abrupt ending is perfect...for both the child and the reader! my favorite lines are:

Curiosity of a child
Leads her far and wide
The birds in the sky glide along
She joins the fun
Singing while they hum.

I really like your work! I would also like to hear your opinion on my poems!
*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I have no idea if the child died and became a ghost! Let's leave that to the imagination.
Thank you so much!
Wow! So glad you like the poem.
OK I'll do that and look forward to learning so much from your poems too. Already enjoying those of Mr. Geezer's.
Once again Thank you so much!

author comment

I like the random rhyming in your first stanza.
No rhyme, in the second stanza, but close with the words of roses and clothes.
Needs an [r] in through.

Nice wording and finally a rhyme of sorts with Dorthy and CREEPIES
Double [its] in the last stanza!

I am pleased that you have tried to take my advice and incorporate
rhyme in your work. I think if you study the rhyme of other poets here,
that you will find ways to make your poetry rock. You do not have to rhyme all the time,
like I mostly do, but you will find that the more that you do, you will think of
words and phrases that will have a better flow. I find that even when I don't rhyme,
the effects are still felt. You gain a sense of meter and rhythm that becomes second nature.
Keep up the good work! ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Thanks very much for your advice Mr. Geezer. I'll keep on improving always. Thanks again!

Meanwhile, I am reading your poems and observing the rhyme schemes. You've got loads of poems in there Sir.

Liking your mentorship already.

Thank you!

author comment

currently no official mentorship program. I am pleased that you think of me as a mentor though. I am drawn to your work and hope that anything that I may able to teach you, will have a positive effect on your work. Yes, I do have many poems here and I hope that you enjoy the ones that you read. You may, of course contact me with any questions that you have on any of them about why or how I choose to do things with them. All you have to do is comment on them, and they will appear as an update. I will then try my best to help you with your question. ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Okay. Will get it done.

author comment

I like this poem.

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

Thank you so much.

author comment

Kamtochukwu nwannem you have a beautiful poetry ! Keep the pen flowing and stick to every advise you got from here.

Thank you!
I'm Jackweb. Imo state.

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

Thank you Brother Onyiyechi. Glad to get your encouragement. Ok, I will. Thank you.

author comment

I like your poem.

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

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