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It's hard to breathe

It's hard for me to put this down
I don't want to see you frown
But I have this thing to do
Please accept my apology to you

I try to bottle-up my feelings
Just to keep them inside
I know I have to tell someone
But I can't even explain

Since I can't tell you
There's one thing I can do
To write a poem
Then maybe you'll understand them

I know I have to ask for help
Just like you told me
But I'm taking a different direction
That's to write to you

Please help me I do not understand
What my fears are
Or what I'm scared of
Maybe you could help me work on that
Then we all can understand

It's kind of a hustle
And a bustle
Or a heavy load
That I myself can't carry alone

I plead with you
To help me carry this load
That's pulling me down
All the way to the ground

I'm just a growing child
Who is yet to understand life
Maybe you teach me
All you know about it
So I don't have to fight
To survive outside

You could be my life coach
But take a different approach
On teaching me the smart side
Of the outside life

I know and understand
I'm leaving you soon
But there's a lot I have to learn
Many more achievements to earn

We could work together
Help out each other
I'm using writing as a medium
To reach you Dad and Mum
Please help me understand
All you know so I stand

Last few words: 
The poem is about me. I'm a teen girl living with Cerebral Palsy which comes with loads of challenges: physical difficulty in walking and writing, mental and psychological, etc. I often think of life and my place in it given my condition. I need guidance from my parents (even in their difficulties) to see me through and be a better person fulfilling my dreams.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I had no idea of the challenges that you face everyday.
You have a remarkable outlook on life.
Your parents should have a good deal of pride in you.

Here are one of my suggestions to help with your poem:

"It's hard for me to put this down
I don't want to see you frown
But I have this thing to do
Please accept my apology to you"

I do believe that this says what you want to say;
you are apologizing to your parents for
making them worry about your mental health and asking them
to worry more, that maybe they aren't doing enough?

I understand that you have trouble talking to them face-to-face
and feel like if you write it, you won't forget to say what you need to say.

You have the makings of a good poet. I don't want to rewrite your whole poem
for you, so I will leave you with the example of what it is to write in rhyme.
As I have said before, you don't always have to write in rhyme.
I believe that you have shown that you can meld free verse and rhyme
and still get your ideas across.
Good luck in communicating with your parents.
~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Thanks a lot for everything you've said Mr Geezer.
I'm I'm really happy about what you said on my positive outlook on life and the makings of a good Poet.Thanks again.

author comment

I love the tentative way you approach your parents with the desire to communicate with them. you want to help them to understand that, yes you are a teen, but you are growing and changing. you want to incorporate their wisdom in this (sometimes painful) process. (by-the-way, I think you are beautiful, both inside and outside!) my favorite lines are:

I'm just a growing child
Who is yet to understand life
Maybe you (can) teach me
All you know about it
So I don't have to fight
To survive outside

I think you are trying to prepare both yourself and your parents for the time to come when you leave home.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thank you so much! Lady Cat!
I really appreciate all you've said about me and my inner personalities.

author comment

I have a few inner personalities myself, LOL! I hope what I wrote helps you with your turmoil.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

It sure did and for this I'm very grateful. I really appreciate you.

author comment

A mix of rhyme and free verse....this is the direction in which I see poetry evolving.

It is really cool way of expressing one's feelings. Glad you liked it.
Thank you.

author comment
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