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Hung Over

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Wed, 2012-06-27 15:09

when happiness is wane
life lacking luster
drinking makes a merry heart

an unsympathetic life
sanity is tested
drinking hides stress

sleeping in
feeling crappy
from night before

red shot eyes
glassy eyed
heads for work

weary, dull headache
drags along
feeling tatty, hung over

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Roscoe Lane

Wed, 2012-06-27 17:56

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Been there, and you have captured it perfectly in your poem. Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

scribbler

Wed, 2012-06-27 19:01

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Seeing others hung over is one reason I've never been drunk lol. But you've descibed well the way others appear to feel when the dog bites back.............stan

Barbara Writes

Wed, 2012-06-27 19:55

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seen those that were. cant say i wanna experience it either. thought i might write about.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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Barbara Writes

Wed, 2012-06-27 19:57

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just finish my mid term for network+
think i did okay. taking a break while the others finish there's. i like this class.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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BlueDemon77

Mon, 2012-07-02 08:43

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Hi Barbara,
I have lived the event (on numerous occasions) and can say without doubt that your depiction is accurate. Oh dear, I guess my preconception of the hard-drinking, chain-smoking guy/gal in a faded, smoke stained fedora beating away on a typewriter under a single light bulb with a conical backing is no longer the case (probably hasn't been since the 50's really). I guess I'm just going to have to be nutty and self destructive enough to make up for the rest of us (kidding). I enjoyed your poem. I'm eventually going to take your workshop on Japanese poetry, I've written tons of haiku and a few Tanka but that's about all. Thanks!

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

Barbara Writes

Mon, 2012-07-02 12:32

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Dionsysian - what that? lol
Glad you like it the poem. I dont remember why I chose to write this. I must have been a buzzed lol.
you'll have to play catch up to get all the exercises in then join in on the round robin. do you want me to add you to the workshop now. when you are ready you can participate when you get the time. Robin robin be begin in teh next day are so.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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