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Horsing Around...

Vague memories of a noble steed
and the paladin I was
My horse was of a humble birth
I rode for justice' cause

He reared way up, hooves a flying
against the country dawning sky
There in the distance, the quarry
The proverbial, wanted bad guy

We raced along the grasslands
We dodged bullets and I hung low
Caught the bad guy and I jumped him
He drew his gun, but way too slow

I socked him in his jaw
and we tussled all around
he tried to hit me with a rock
that he found upon the ground

The battle was all over now
we'd won the day at last
My horse helped me get the bad guy
because he was lightning fast

An incongruous name of "Old Soap"
but yet, a much beloved steed
He was my favorite companion
he fulfilled my cowboy needs

I can't remember what happened
to my faithful "Old Soap" friend
It was so very long ago
I don't know how he met his end

Almost seventy years have passed
since I saw him last
I hope he's found lush, green pastures
where he's still running fast

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I had an old stick horse, with a head made from an old pillow-case or sheet and stuffed with who knows what; black button eyes and a bridle made of clothes-line rope. My parents asked me what his name was and I replied "Old Soap". Why, Old Soap? Because he looked like the color of a bar of soap and that's what the cowboys called their horses; Old paint, Old Silver etc.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

a poem about a horse called Old Soap. Wrong, (but funny) on a few levels.
THEN I read your notes at the end. So, ok, Old Soap it is. Can't say I read
much cowboy poetry but enjoyed your story.
Horsing around doesn't seem to fit the story, though I get it. Why not give
credit where credit is due ? "Old Soap and I?" "Old Soap." "A Horse Tail." <<<<play on words..

I love the first two stanzas. A few lines didn't read right to me. Felt and extra
beat or two . It could be me. I will reread, but honestly, I think you probably
know where I stumbled. You're far from new at this.
I'm with you, I hope he's out in some pasture chasing fillies and eating grass.
I won't even think about the alternative.
Sue

those extra syllables in the meter fixed. I think I'm going to keep the title, but thanks for the suggestions.
Thank you for the read and the critique. This is what makes us what we are. ~ Geezer.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

author comment

The changes you made were/are perfect. I see I was the minority
on the title change which is fine by me, it just made me giggle.
It's a cool story and I do love story poems. I do hope to be around
a little more to read more and catch up with folks.
Thank you for making me feel welcome. It's nice reading you
again. I have missed the camaraderie of this place.

Sue

that you have come back. We are getting new people all the time and it is a good thing, but we also are getting a lot of the previous gang back too. I am happy. About calling me Geezer; I understand that how it may seem rude to some people, but it's a name I came by from another source and I choose to use it here. I used to work with some Frenchmen as an auto detailer. They knew my name translates as Gui
[pronounced Gee]. I happened to be the oldest one there, and they jokingly said I was the geezer of them. No one here would know that and I could have chosen any other name. So, that is the story and that is my name. I do not take it as a sign of disrespect; rather a sign of affection, for those of you older friends and special people, you can call me Gee.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

author comment

I think every red-blooded boy should have a stick horse--be his name Old Silver or old Whatnot, as long as he carries his rider around an imaginary world. I'm almost sure your trusty old mount found a green pasture in never-never-land. Nice poem (for a make-believe buckaroo, lol.).

there are more than a few of those "Old" mounts running about in those pastures, but I think that they will probably be joined by newer generations and models in the coming years. They jist don't make 'em like they yusta. Thanks for stopping by the bunk-house. ~ Old Geezer.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

author comment

I always thought you were one of the twelve knights sir. What amazing imagery and I thank you for this amazing poem. I get the title horsing around means having fun. Personally I love everything about this.

Thank you...Teddy

I am going to keep the title, I wasn't sure at first, but since you visited and left your comment, I'm sure.
So glad you liked this one. "Old Soap" is surely having a laugh while he is leaning on the fence and munching his oats. ~ Geezer.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

author comment

Memories of childhood...... they really Are great aren't they?

my early years were great. She instilled in me the gift of imagination. She encouraged me to play games and make up stories. She loves the poems that I write about those years. Thanks for stopping by the bunk-house and sharing. ~ Geez.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

author comment

Gee. A purebred for sure. I hope that you looked after 'Old Soap' well whilst he was in your stable.
St. 4, L.4, I might have been tempted to juggle the words a little so as not to have 'ground' rhyming with 'ground' as end rhymes. Say:-

'that, upon the ground, he found'.

Just a thought old boy, just a thought.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

pointing that out Alan, "Old boy". I think I fixed that line. Oh, my yes, he ate the same oatmeal at breakfast that I did and he slept tied to my bedpost. Thank you stopping by the bunk-house. ~ Geezer.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

author comment

I am back here after a while...hope all is well.. nice rhyme sequence...liked it..

heard about passing away of Judy & Jess....sad...

see many new faces here now..

take best care...be well..stay safe...

raj (sublime_ocean)

So glad that you are safe and well. We have missed you. Yes, we have lost two more from our ranks, as they say though; "They are gone, but not forgotten". There will be new friends, but they will not replace those that have gone on before; rather, they will add to those that we call friends. Glad you liked my little story. I am looking forward to seeing some more of yours. Take care, my friend. ~ Gee.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

author comment

I agree with all that you have said about those who have gone and new friends being added...well said..

be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Hi, Geezer,
You've let your memory come alive. It's pretty wonderful when something gives us that happy feeling all over again. I, too, like your title - very fitting for a boy and his "Old Soap".
Happy Trails!
L

of that time are a little vague, but pieced together from things that my mother and father had told me. My father, [long passed]
used to kid me when I was older, in my teens; about that stick horse and say that I treated him just like a real one. [I was two and my imagination was really good]. My Mom, tells me that I played cowboy for hours out it in the tall grass in front of the little cobblestone house we lived in at the time. She says that she doesn't know where Old Soap came from, she doesn't remember that, but I have the feeling that it may have been an Uncle Freddy. [My Mom's brother]. ~Geezer.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

author comment
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