Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A Gun

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Mon, 2010-12-13 23:39

A gun cause’s harm
To the innocent
Give justice to the guilty
Not so much the gun, but
The soul behind the gun

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Victorclaude

Tue, 2010-12-14 01:49

justice

justice kidnapped
hidden in law
sells cement shoes
for our children
to wear
on prom night

what is hidden?
ask your children.

"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."

Unknown (at least to me)

Barbara Writes

Wed, 2010-12-15 00:58

Interesting comment about justice

I see the truth in this comment.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

Eduardo Cruz

Tue, 2010-12-14 03:35

Barbara

To me if you have to use a gun to harm the innocent, your soul is already lost..
always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Barbara Writes

Wed, 2010-12-15 01:02

I second that

Thanks for the comment. It is much appreciated.

Always

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

mand

Tue, 2010-12-14 05:27

Alot said in a few words. It

Alot said in a few words. It's not the gun, it's the person behind the gun and there motives.

Interesting poem

Loads of love

Mand xxxxxxxxxx

Barbara Writes

Wed, 2010-12-15 01:08

A few words

I like creating a poetic picture with as few words as I can. Thanks for the comment. I really appreciate your thoughts on my poem.
Loads of love

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

Neopoet

A Gun