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Gloves and Masks... [Title Shop]

I saw the Mime, with his gloves and mask
He tried hard to make me smile
I didn't think he was up to the task
Because, I hadn't smiled for a while

His silent laughter was so very plain
He had it in him, I realized
To take away my hurt and pain
I could see the smile in his eyes

He was no different than I'd seen before
His mask and gloves were of white
Black skin covered, he was hard to ignore
His merriment showed, his heart was light

I felt ashamed of my heavy heart
And so I laughed, I laughed out loud
I thought to myself, "I should do my part"
And I laughed with the rest of the crowd.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Thank you to Rula for the nifty title! She is an inspiration to us here,
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I think this is very good for such a quickie

As soon as I saw the Mask and Gloves title, I thought of a Mime. I just kind of came to me, that here was someone who is striving to make the world a little less scary and a bit brighter. ~ Gee.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

I thought this is really awesome and not without a noble message. Respect what others offer no matter how trivial it looks to you.
Well done re the suggested title. I won't have done it better myself.
Thank you.

P.s. You've chosen the "primal Poetry workshop where neededto choose the "Title workshop" instead.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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www.instgram.com/rularules1

that you would have as well, if not better. You have imagination and a good heart; plus you gave me a great title!
Geez.
.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

I'm going to give you something back today for everything you have given me, so when I read this I just saw your giant heart, so I have edited I hope you see the very small changes and of course pass it by or feel free to use any of it.

I saw the Mime, wearing gloves and mask
He was trying hard to make me laugh,
I didn't think he was up to the task
After-all, I hadn't smiled for a while

His silent laughter was so very plain
He had it in him, I realized
To take away my hurt and pain
For I could see the smile in his eyes

He was no different than I'd seen before
His mask and gloves were of white
Black skin covered, he was hard to ignore
His merriment showed, his heart was light

I felt ashamed of my heavy heart
so I laughed, I laughed out loud
I thought to myself,

"i should do my part"
And I laughed along with the rest of the crowd

Thank you...Teddy

give me something to think about and I shortened a couple of lines and made the rhythm a little better. Thank you!
~ Geez.
.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

You pulled this off magnificently the title and theme, well done to you and indeed to Rula!

Thank you...Teddy

There is a message in your poem for all to see
Laugh no matter how much you hurt inside
who knows perhaps your mime washurting inside one never knows
what akind word or just a smile might do for a oerson

your poem holds a message for us all. smile and laugh no matter how much it hurts
give a smile or a kind word to someone as you never know what is going on insside
who know perhaps your mime was hurting inside but gave pleasure non the less

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

me a little better than I thought. Yes, that was my intent, to take what he gave and give a little back; letting him know that he was appreciated. ~ Gee.
.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

Amen to that!

Thank you...Teddy

Hi, Geezer,
Aw...quite the unselfish giver, your Mime. You, too!
Thank you!
L

You make me smile. I had a good time with this and I feel like that Mime must have; as he made those people smile and laugh. ~ Geez.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

You make me cry! Just so much heart in here. A beautiful edit.

Thank you...Teddy

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