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GISMAL

Submitted by Esker on Tue, 2015-10-27 23:35

the barren tub
dust on the room
the furnace hum
how I stay away
from rooms
and television
helplessness

Deep depth scepticism
nothing help but an
exorcism

i like my water dark
and my candles black
once ventured
the souls can not
come back

valleys of summer
lightning in the
wind and the growl
of thunders
tongue working its
way

the lights flickering
the fan faltering
with each wall
shaking detonation

like the battle before
the dawn
roses and poppies
and winters death

Now I dream of you
in vividness and form
you would be so
happy to hear this

always wanted to be
an integral
in my segregated
illumination

i see you in every
young walk
rakes my heart
I feel the ire
the heat of its fire
now become
the occultic
inpsire

and yet
you keep me
hanging on
...
like a vamprye
refreshed
......

(for Valentina from her 'Vladdie)

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2015-10-28 12:03

Geezer's picture
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I find that I'm liking the new form of on and off again rhyme that you and some are using in their works. Seems that poetry is still evolving and will probably continue to do so as long as we still have poets! Nice and dark, as befits the Halloween season. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Esker

Wed, 2015-10-28 19:27

Esker's picture

fade in and out....exhausted writing this..worked..biked in rain...still in damp layered clothes
the light bulb on deck arm feels nice.....
tired...

thank U

author comment

ThEdges

Thu, 2015-10-29 00:33

ThEdges's picture

I especially like---

Deep depth scepticism
nothing help but an
exorcism

Such great playing with the words!

Esker

Thu, 2015-10-29 04:57

Esker's picture

but whom would want to be freed of an experience
like plastic surgery for the brain
pharma companies dull reception to some areas
and enhance others
the Dealers of the block that can legally drive
and own much...social jockeying etc...but they
also train their staff...and in our country its all
covered a lot..and the rest us people pay from
our pocket....

deep..is deep....
wishes from the well
I used to clean out wells
I value items
things
people..events
auras
pysche

was trying to describe
my snarl about this
kind of feeling

its like....this is my
scar
a sceptic is not going to
believe in an exorcism
so its like sarcastic
wit...

all my even more brillant
friends wanted me to grow
up and get beyond that
but I think Im not brilliant
just have a creative side
and I want still for the works
I write here to have
something different too
them...

I had a friend awhile ago
say I wrote like someone
and they sent me the link
and sure enough it was
close....to be truly unique
is way beyond me...

I like that you get my play
though....I like intellect
play very much!!

thank U

author comment

ThEdges

Thu, 2015-10-29 14:02

ThEdges's picture

Awww, no, you are much too hard on yourself. You are very unique!. ....what if there is one more that's like the two of you. ...having 3 of you in the world, to me, that makes all 3 of you unique!

Some people are just like hundreds (!) of others. ..to be similar to only 1 or 2 qualifies you as being unique.

Enjoy it!

wesley snow

Thu, 2015-10-29 17:25

wesley snow's picture
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I actually have the card issued by the County of San Bernardino, CA.
Does that make me unique or just another nut?

Esker, at the very least your poetry is unique.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Esker

Thu, 2015-10-29 19:30

Esker's picture

in a way this is publishing!
so if tomorrow the great 1984 law is enacted
poets would be more then just given a card
its almost like hereasy
here say
there I go the word play....

U neek up on em...how to catch a wabbit

im happy my poetry is enjoyed
makes days that are a struggle or a great joy
all the more the worth

I remember when we critqued each other..
like a roast....on our typewriters back home
the early years...
I threw out boxes of my earlier works
box loads of the stuff..
which just means like fruits of the mind
the orchard is still dropping apples
from the tree
or the horses end

oh neigh
I mean yayy

thanx peoples!!

author comment

ThEdges

Thu, 2015-10-29 19:44

ThEdges's picture

..*takes one step away...hoping wesley doesn't notice.... :-"

yes, it is unique, wesley---I'm glad you agree with me. :D

PS. to Esker---I love sarcasm and wit! sarcastic wit....it hardly gets any better than that! ; ) )

Esker

Thu, 2015-10-29 22:37

Esker's picture

Jism al was supposed to be the title....although Gim as in Gimbal
Gumbalya gumble
words are oft play dough in my head
cause I aint effin hear no good from rock music on heaphones
and sitting in bars...sober doing philosophical work...dancing with
fine ladies...the odd man out to run ideas about...
will work at getting more into it...

..

author comment
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