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A Girl Eating Stew (April Contest)

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Mon, 2016-04-04 00:09

There was a girl eating stew,
she had nothing else to do
standing outside in the cold
all the malls had closed,
so she went instead to the zoo

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
April 2016 - Limerick - Prize -$25 USD Amazon.com Gift Certificate

Comments

Keith Logan

Mon, 2016-04-04 06:48

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this logical lass. Indeed, who can blame her?

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

Barbara Writes

Mon, 2016-04-04 20:39

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Thanks glad you like it

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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alidzain

Mon, 2016-04-04 22:18

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I liked this but I find that it doesn't stick to the rules of the contest which are

1. Anapestic
2.5 lines
3. Rhyming pattern AABBA.

Alid

Barbara Writes

Tue, 2016-04-05 07:38

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Thanks don't know much about limericks.

I worked on AABBA and five lines
How is my anaspest

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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alidzain

Tue, 2016-04-05 13:50

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to be honest, I don't think I'm the right person to ask. All I know about anapest is its pattern
(unstress, unstress, stress)
I've seen the examples from the contest's instructions but I can't see the anapestic rhythm.

Alid

raj

Tue, 2016-04-05 13:55

i liked this one...i believe it's posted as a limerick and not anapest and it made me smile ...

If I may suggest, you could add a few words to make it flo even more smoothly...just a suggestion..

There was a girl eating stew,
she had nothing [else] to do
standing outside in the cold
all the malls was [had just] closed,
so she went [instead] to the zoo.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Barbara Writes

Tue, 2016-04-05 22:19

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I like it

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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Barbara Writes

Tue, 2016-04-05 22:23

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Thanks

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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Barbara Writes

Mon, 2016-04-18 15:01

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Sounds good I like it

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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