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Forget

forget me not or
forget me quick
and forget it all
forget the reasons we had
and the misplaced path
whether or not it was
forget my face
and the grace we made
inside you
forget the crescendo
in our climax
always remember
it was surrender
forget the folly
in thinking
there is anything we keep
forget the impact
and ignore the echoes
until only ripples remain
and then
forget my name

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I read 'forget me not' and thought to myself, 'okay, here comes another overdone, overworked poetic subject'...
Please forgive me, I was completely wrong.

I have read this a dozen times, now, and I can find no fault at all. At first, I thought perhaps the 4th line, but no, the slight change in cadence and rhythym is perfect.

SO very well done.
Keep them coming.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

I’ve not read anything of his that is not completely original. The angles of view he gives you only show flashes or glimpses of the picture. It’s like watching a film but in a series of slides. There are frames missing all over the place but it’s deliberate (maybe?) and still leaves you with a fill in the blank type of narrative. You get no information that’s superfluous. If he uses an obscure word it’s because it’s apt not because he’s flashy.

Oh, and he’s all modest about it too which is the hallmark of someone simply striving for excellence without the gross obsession over perfection.

These feel like captured thoughts. Sometimes I sit down to write and I can usually find something to write about (I like to talk about myself so it’s easy enough, lol). Other times a thought arises and I need to like pull the car over and write immediately. It usually comes rushing and torrential but that’s the best material for my money. That’s the point where I have to write, everything else becomes distant and I get hyper fixated. I feel some of that when I read Indivisible Origin. Even his screen name is one the deepest mysteries of both classical physics and quantum mechanics.

He’s a special gift for sure
Tim

Isn't that a good feeling. The trance like state you describe. Can't tell you how much quality material I have created to the metronomic click of the hazard lights as commuters and the world at large rush by on the other side of that glass. Thanks for reading and advocating, brother.

IO

author comment

Yessir I looked at that one more than once but settled on what youve seen 12 times it sounds like. I am humbled and appreciative of the time and thought. Thank you for reading.

IO

author comment

I'm so glad you liked it. To be fair anything impolite a woman has ever said to me was almost certainly called for. Thank you for reading.

IO

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