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The Family Holiday Table

Submitted by paleoray on Thu, 2023-11-16 17:39

While turkeys are roasting
With stuffing within;
There’s dining room magic
Outside the kitchen.

A table is set there
With linens and lace;
And all of the silver
Is polished and placed.

The centerpiece features
A dazzling display
Of lovely red coneflowers
In wondrous array.

Each setting has name card
In front of each plate;
And all of the crystal
Has wine glass for mate.

The napkins are silken
In rings with a fold;
Where each band is sterling,
With rims that are gold.

The candles are garnished
With pumpkins and pine;
While each sits near grapes
That are picked from a vine.

The trivets are laid out
For birds and the beans;
As dishes are brought out
With yams and some greens.

The pies are on sideboards -
Both pumpkin and spice;
And rolls are in baskets
With linen so nice.

The turkeys are ready -
The candles are lit;
The fire in the fireplace
Warms room up a bit.

Then all become seated,
While each bows their head;
As host says a prayer,
And the blessing is said.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Harvest Feast Image Prompt Contest
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Thu, 2023-11-16 23:40

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively uses vivid imagery and a consistent rhyme scheme to paint a picture of a traditional family holiday meal. The attention to detail in describing the table setting and food preparation helps to immerse the reader in the scene.

However, the poem could benefit from more varied sentence structure and rhythm. The consistent AABB rhyme scheme and similar line lengths throughout the poem can make the reading experience monotonous. Experimenting with different rhyme schemes, line lengths, or rhythmic patterns could add more dynamism to the poem.

Additionally, the poem could delve deeper into the emotions and experiences of the characters present. While the detailed description of the setting is effective, the poem could be more engaging if it also explored the feelings, thoughts, or interactions of the people at the meal. This could provide a deeper emotional resonance and make the poem more relatable to readers.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more unique or unexpected imagery. While the descriptions are clear and detailed, they often rely on familiar or clichéd images (e.g., turkeys roasting, silverware placed, candles lit). Incorporating more original or surprising imagery could make the poem more memorable and engaging.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

RoseBlack

Thu, 2023-11-16 18:40

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A wonderful family holiday filled with love and tradition. Well done.

~RoseBlack~

paleoray

Sat, 2023-11-18 17:39

paleoray's picture

Thank you for your kind words.

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Geezer

Thu, 2023-11-16 19:01

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a great get together! Your rhyme and rhythm are almost flawless. ~ Geezer.
.

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paleoray

Sat, 2023-11-18 17:39

paleoray's picture

Thank you for your kind response.

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