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Call of the Raven

Black raven on top of Golden Corral
called out to me in the parking lot
sitting on the rooftop.

aimed by my iphone
measuring this big bird
to capture it on video

https://youtu.be/UvaHYTIXg3U

Editing stage: 

Comments

Nice one! May be replacing "to shoot" instead of "capture" for some word play to suit the theme of the piece.
Well captured and nice video to add one more dimension to the poem.

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nice hearing from you . i used your suggestion. but i don't think (to shoot) captured my theme bc it gives me the idea of killing the poor bird. the word captured is a little softer. a word that describes the theme to capture the moment is what i'm going for.
to shoot is what a camara does tho.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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no i'm not sure it was a raven . it hawked so loud in my ear it took a bit for me to find where it was . and it was on the V shape of the building . then once i started to video it with my iphone it flew away and that what i caught in the video link at bottom of poem . the bird was black as night and it looked big as it flew of the building.
so i don't know . i wrote what i saw . i will use your suggestion and see how it reads

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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Golden Corrals here and it's one of our favorite places to go when celebrating some small event; [such as actually being able to go out for dinner]. I love crows and ravens and we have those too! Crows so big that they appear as ravens and a few actual ravens. They are much maligned and sometimes hated birds as they are near the top of the food chain in the bird world and are scavengers and rapacious omnivores that will eat other birds and small mammals. I find them extremely handsome birds. If you used a phone to try and capture the bird, I don't get the "aimed by brush tip". ~ Geezer.
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The bird was so big it may have been a crow . i don't know . the only bird came to mind was raven because it was so black and so loud screaming down at me . i agree the brush tip don't do fit. i used the iphone to video the bird flying away

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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i"m trying to be more accepting

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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