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A Bayliner Across Oceans

My my my looks like fun
speeding across ocean waters
over blue ripples
under summer sun

The cool wind mixed with warmth
blowing in my hair
under summer clouds
in a red and white boat screaming.

If only I weren't afraid
of the vast waters
enveloping my soul
taking away my breath

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thanks for the suggestions. I think they are good. The one about screaming loud would not describe me. In a situation like that I'm not screamer but is quiet, I would grab a hold of you burying my head the whole time. You could not pry me away lol.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka. All Neopoets welcome to join the Collaborative Poetry Writing Workshop.
https://pixiblogs.blacpixi.com/

author comment

As usual I know nothing about everything. I've never been around a bay liner only seen on TV. I saw an add advertising one for sale on face book marketplace.and it look like fun. So I imagine fun and wrote about what it might feel like.

As you may have realize by now I don't follow conversations very well. A story of my life. Lol

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka. All Neopoets welcome to join the Collaborative Poetry Writing Workshop.
https://pixiblogs.blacpixi.com/

author comment
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