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Deep Ression
Cunning
Coy
Barbaric
A hunter for emotions.
She searches with such fervor.
Deep Ression snakes around
enveloping all those not cloaked.
Her fangs greets many with acid
of sorrows.
She terrors the Grim Reaper from
whence he came.
Sweeping people after people
into the mighty slaying talons.
She is marbledhearted, leaving
not one apathetic Releasing is
not nigh.
Deep Ration steal lives placing
them in her collection. A master
of disguises. The caress is never
ending. Bound under her spell,
a puppeteer and many puppets
for amusement. You just crumble
under the mighty acid.
Have you been bitten?
I have!
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Direction):
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Editing stage:
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Comments
Pixee
Mon, 2011-03-14 08:09
Xena
I have been bitten also many times. But now I have the disease I cannot shake. It is something I have been living with pretty much all my life. I do appreciate your response. I hate to hear you have been bitten. Stay away from
the serpant my friend. Read you later.
Cheers,
Pixee
author commentCandlewitch
Thu, 2011-03-24 10:55
Dear Pixee,
What does the title mean? I looked up "ression" in my dictionary and couldn't find it. But your poem is chilling from the start and ends even more so with these, my favorite lines:
Deep Ration steal lives placing
them in her collection. A master
of disguises. The caress is never
ending. Bound under her spell,
a puppeteer and many puppets
for amusement. You just crumble
under the mighty acid.
Have you been bitten?
I have!
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Pixee
Thu, 2011-03-24 15:39
Hello Candlewitch
I am glad and appreciate the comments. I mispelled the word. It was suppose to be 'ression'. A little slip of the fingers. I gave this poem a lot of thought. I battle with this serpent each day I awake. It feels like a losing battle each time I have a step. I lose it. But I keep on crawling my way through the days. Thank you for your comments.
Cheers,
Pixee
author commentLicia Daniels
Thu, 2011-03-24 11:05
Lovely, Pixee
I have heard depression called many things before, but never this telling. It seems as if you have the serpent under control. Well done.
Love xxxxx
Diana
Pixee
Thu, 2011-03-24 15:46
Hello Diana
I first want to tell you thank you for taking the time to comment on my poem. I wish I had 'it' under control, but it is a fighting battle hour by hour. I get a step ahead 'she' snatches me back into her slithery hold. She controls my every move. I gave this poem a lot of thought. I just had to write it. I just wanted to let it out. Thank you again. Read you later.
author commentPixee
Tue, 2011-03-29 09:18
Hello Seren
The second part of the title is suppose to be the second half of depression, bring my title to Deep Ression. I added the Deep instead of Dep. I thought. It would be a good title for what I had to say.
I thank you for bringing this out to me once again. I hope this is of some help for you to read my poem the way it is ment to be...
Your Friend Always,
Pixee
author commentHooded Stranger
Tue, 2011-03-29 09:23
Depression
Pixee,
I got the title right away, nice and simple play on words.
I really liked the awkward structure with opening one words for the first two lines and then a short one liner in the middle and then finishing with a question...loved that.
I am stuck in my ways with a writing to a similar structure of verses, chorus, bridges and an outro, so I really am impreesed when I read such a well written piece that works without the need of structure.
Fav lines:
Deep Ression snakes around
enveloping all those not cloaked.
Her fangs greets many with acid
of sorrows.
'acid of sorrows'...that image has 'burnt' into my mind...I want to use it myself!!
You have written some amazing poems here on Neopoet, but this one stands head and shoulder above the rest.
Thanks for sharing...it has made my day.
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Hooded Stranger
Wed, 2011-03-30 11:02
JayCee
I only wish I could have a blonde moment...but a lack of hair prevents that, so you have a blonde moment for me!!
Lol!
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Pixee
Wed, 2011-03-30 08:31
Hello Hooded Stranger
I am glad that you liked it. I think this one is my favorite also. It came to me out of the blue. It came so fast I had to write it down before I forgot it. I like the title to it also. I think it is unique. I did do some changes about 3 or 4 times though. I finished and posted this one. i am honored to have someone like you to express their opinion about my poem. It means a lot to me. You write so well yourself. I do my best to critique poems myself. I am still learning. You are welcome to use "burnt into my mind". I know you will take it that much farther. Go get it my friend. Thank you again my friend.
Poetry is the soul of the writer.
by: Pixee
Friends,
Pixee
author commentHooded Stranger
Wed, 2011-03-30 11:05
Pixee
Pixee,
it is 'acid of sorrows' I'd like to use if you don't mind.
Actually, how about a co-write?
It would be good to write a piece with your awkward structure (I mean that in a good way) and my tight structure and see what we get. let me know...no pressure and I'll understand if you'd rather not,
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Pixee
Wed, 2011-03-30 08:47
Hello Seren
I know how you feel. i have walked in your shoes. I am now disabled so I read and write and take a lot of meds. I appreciate you taking the time to critique my poem. YOU are a big inspiration to me. You write so very well. I envy you at times. You take scambled words and piece them together into their proper places and come out with a wonderful poem. You are a well gifted poet. Thank you again for commenting on my poem. Read you later.
Friends,
Pixee
author commentPixee
Wed, 2011-03-30 09:01
I haven't
I haven't thought of it that way. I guess I CAN be who ever I want to be in a poem. I have a lot inside of me to say, but I sometime have trouble putting it on paper. When I am in this condition I can write up a storm, at times. I do thank you for your encouragement....
Your Friend,
Pixee
author commentPixee
Wed, 2011-03-30 09:16
Thank You
I appreciate you knowing how I feel. I have to write when I act up, if you know what I mean. I write to release the power within. Thank you for this response.
Your Friend Always,
Pixee
author commentPixee
Thu, 2011-03-31 08:05
I agree
I agree with you I have a lot of power closed up within me. I have to write. My power need to be relieved or I will explode. I will be posting a few poems soon. I have to vent. It beats cutting.
My others tells me what to do and I am not in control of myself. It seems like when I am writing or just sitting. I am in another world. I am in limbo. I will be posting soon. Thank you for returning
my comment.
Friends Always,
Pixee
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