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Passion- posted on behalf of China Blue- Splash Pool Workshop
Passion is the tides
Surge, ebb and flow
The roar of an approaching storm
Fires of hell burning
Bright
A lion’s hunger
When on the prowl
To the ocean’s depth
It is felt
Lust never fulfilled
Love is a comfort zone
An unconditional giving
Where no boundary lines are drawn
A knowing without a whisper
A reading of the signs
Love always fulfilled
Passion without love
Is empty
Love lacking passion
Leaves a void
Why can they not co exist
In one
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2011-09-04 15:14
Stronger...
I don't think you are looking for stronger words, just a more definitive way of arranging the thoughts. I thought you did fine, until you got to the "fires of hell, burning bright." I'm not sure that those words or the concept has a place in this one. Maybe use: The flames of desire, burning heat? I don't want to give away all of the ideas that I have for re-writing this one, so I will just leave you with that. ~ Gee
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scribbler
Sun, 2011-09-04 15:25
Hello
Here's a quickie rewrite. Hope it doesn't miss your point too badly
My passion is a restless tide
surging, ebbing, ever flowing
the rumble of approaching storm
the heat of hellfire, bright and glowing
A lion's hunger
on the prowl
the ocean's depth
the coyote's howl
A lust I hope to never fill
My love is a comfort zone
of unconditional love
a quiet yet unbounded moan
a quiet knowing without sign
And always fulfilling
Either one without the other
feels so sterile, incomplete
why can't they exist as one
within a single soul, replete?
now let's hear some more variations............stan
scribbler
Sun, 2011-09-04 22:12
Hi
Guess I just put 1 toe in mouth not entire foot lol. You can submit your rewrite any time you are ready..........stan