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Hay in Your Boots

the city beckons me back
with promises of
lost love
drama
and the Beautiful Lights
shining by the cityscape
perfect next to the stars.

But I'm stuck to the country like
dirt on my blue jeans
mud on the pig
spots on the Buel's beef cows
and a tree to the ground.

someday I'll get back to my city
to bright lights
to late nights
and 24 sleepless hours
because blue jeans must eventually be washed
the rain keeps the pig clean
cows become burgers
and great trees fall.

'til then, there are stalls that need muckin'
horses that need puttin' out an' brushin' an' puttin' back in
a chicken coop ta clean
goats ta feed
an' a field ta hay.

when ya been nearly kicked by a horse
heard the call of a hay baler in a hot 'n' lonely field
an' been pricked by the hay in yer boots one too many times
ya know yer stuck to the country
like dirt on yer blue jeans
mud on a pig
spots on the Buel's beef cows
an' a tree ta the ground.

concrete don't move on it's own
and the city ain't goin' nowhere.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
i was mucking out horse stalls and thinking how annoying it is to have hay in your boots. i wrote half of it in my head. it's supposed to sound like a country accent at the end, by the by.
Editing stage: 

Comments

It actually works that you don't get the country dialect till near the end, because at the beginning your thoughts are in the city.

Sad ending. Fly, little bird, fly, be wherever you wany to be.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

A little bit country, a little bit rock n roll, a little bit beat poet.

Much enjoyed!

~A

Loved this poem
Ive been citylocked for five years
and lived here for ten
we have country and bush about
I am reminded of the lands
the feilds
full of heat
the yellow moons
rising on hardwoods
and meadows
the swamps alive with life

This was a great read!! Thank You

Wonderful use of changing dialect. And I really identify with being a long ago city slicker turned country. I looked pretty hard but only came up with 2 suggestions you might consider :
Line 6 change by to through
Line 8 move like to beginning of next line.....................stan

line six is not what you think it is, my dear scrib! 'tis not a LIGHT but a person. (caps for lack of italics :D )
i'm afraid i don't understand your other suggestion. what exactly do you mean?
thanks,
mag

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