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A Star's Name
I look at the sky
starless in its ebony light
searching for the one
known by the name
written in my soul.
I see you
out there all alone
and I call your name
the sound traveling
through time and space
reaching its intended
goal
Then like a breeze
Sailing upon
a moonlit ocean
whispering,
paint me a picture
with your brush
of words
Star of my dark sky’s
bathe me in your light
it is your name I call
on my lonely nights
reveal to me
the brightness
which shines within
You are the daylight
which I have longed for
giving me life
so that I may live
in companionship
with you
for ever more
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Author information
Region & Country
New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem
Favorite Poets
P. Neruda, Jose de Diego, E. Dickenson, R. Frost, there are many more, but these had the greatest influence...
Comments
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-06-15 11:09
Oh, Eddie!
This is so lovely! If this doesn't bring a tear of happiness to her eyes, nothing will. I wish my guy wrote poetry. But at least he shows me in a million little ways that he cares. Favorite lines:
Star of my darken sky’s
bathe me in your light
it is your name I call
on my lonely nights
reveal to me
the brightness
which shines within
(but I think "darken" should be, either dark or darkened)
keep on writing. Your inner beauty shines through every line.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Eduardo Cruz
Wed, 2011-06-15 23:07
Cat
I thank you, love has turned me into a bowl of jello. Hahaha
She loves jello!
I made the change your eagle eye spied.
again, thanks
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentloved
Wed, 2011-06-15 19:34
I read it too
But Cat's verdict
silences me
you see
i have become
a narcisistic ,
i thought the
STAR was me ..
loved
Eduardo Cruz
Wed, 2011-06-15 23:09
loved
you are a star, but in a different constellation. I do see you shinning bright.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentloved
Wed, 2011-06-15 23:51
as long as i am a star
let me remain
lest some day i become the moon
cool
or sun
and burn
loved
Eduardo Cruz
Thu, 2011-06-16 01:00
a universe
isn't it what we all do
in the end
burn
one way or another.
we are all stars
until we super nova
and just like that
poof
we're gone
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentEduardo Cruz
Wed, 2011-06-15 23:26
Chrys
Funny, but that's how I read it to her in a whisper. She said it felt like a prayer. I being the romantic that I am. I said, but your are my Goddess!
Chrys not ole, a young romantic. at lease it's how I feel, Hahaha
Thanks for the read and the lovely comment
Eddie
......
"If romance is the blood of life. I truly need to donate some, for I am filled with it"
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentBarbara Writes
Thu, 2011-06-16 02:39
Eddie
This is beautiful i like it. I can feel the intimate in this piece as it relate to the celestial and space of time.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Eduardo Cruz
Thu, 2011-06-16 05:24
Barbara
Thank you so very much!
Eddie
....
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentEduardo Cruz
Thu, 2011-06-16 17:14
Kal
Interesting as always from you.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
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