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THE UNSEEN PAINS
Hurting pains sometimes manifest in anger
With distorted contour and crooked face
Voice tone in high rise explodes like bomb
Part of pains flow out in dissipated stress
The wound heals, the scar remains unseen
This painful effect conscious of the cause
The wound deepens, healing hard and slow
Rage degenerates into grudge and malice
Eats up the host till nothing is left inside
Cadaver disintegrates and awaits interment
Pains of the oppressed and down trodden
Lonely moments of misplaced adoration
Faith and trust, betrayed by empty promises
The innocent framed up in bogus charge
Are some of the unseen pains of all times
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
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Editing stage:
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Comments
t. reflexion
Tue, 2011-06-07 13:23
Thank you Ian T
You have really done so much for me. I am beginning to see the gaps and also making attempt to fill them. One day, may be, I will stand out to tell the world how you picked up a rough diamond and polished it to become a glittering treasure. I appreciate your support, best wishes.
tr
A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light
t. reflexion
Tue, 2011-06-07 13:33
My adorable friend...
and the eyes I do not have, thank you. My works are full of infelicities and I depend on you to point them out for me. I do not know what I will do without you. Please, always be there for me. Thank you very much and best wishes.
tr
A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light
t. reflexion
Tue, 2011-06-07 23:23
Thanks
He who dislikes being corrected may never grow and our people say, the one who thinks he knows all, will carry shit on his back, unknown to him and show off.
tr
A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light
t. reflexion
Tue, 2011-06-07 23:34
Actually...
I am one of them. Thank you too for understanding the sting in our society.Best wishes.
tr
A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light