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DECEPTION

DECEPTION

"And where have you been, all this day,
My pretty one, my love so fair?"
"I've been to visit with sick friends,
Oh husband mine, for whom I care."

"Then why the perfume and the dress
As if invited to a ball?"
" Dear John, your questions make me laugh,
Have you no trust in me at all?"

" I am not well, and should I die
Would you re-marry, in your prime?"
" No! no! my John, perish the thought!
Well.... maybe, after quite some time."

" Were he a golfer, just like me,
Please tell me, and be very candid,
Would you give him my new golf clubs?"
"Oh, no, Dear John, the boy's left - handed!"

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

dear John! Your rythm and rhyme were spot on and I loved the story. Seems to me that you could leave out a few of those commas, I don't think you need them all. ~ Gee

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thanks, Gee, glad you liked it

Ian

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

author comment

There is nothing more rewarding than making people smile. Thanks for the kind words.

Ian

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

author comment

I'm glad you like this, thanks for taking the time to write. I'm sorry I took so long to get back to you, but I've been on holiday down on the Solway coast, a fascinating place. Get too many hats And We'll be calling you Mahatma Ghandi LOL

Love

Ian xx

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

author comment

too too busy l- laughing to critique..........scribbler

Glad it appealed to you. Stole the joke and made a poem of it - maybe a new genre? Turn old jokes into new poems?

Regards

Ian

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

author comment
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