Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
DECEPTION
DECEPTION
"And where have you been, all this day,
My pretty one, my love so fair?"
"I've been to visit with sick friends,
Oh husband mine, for whom I care."
"Then why the perfume and the dress
As if invited to a ball?"
" Dear John, your questions make me laugh,
Have you no trust in me at all?"
" I am not well, and should I die
Would you re-marry, in your prime?"
" No! no! my John, perish the thought!
Well.... maybe, after quite some time."
" Were he a golfer, just like me,
Please tell me, and be very candid,
Would you give him my new golf clubs?"
"Oh, no, Dear John, the boy's left - handed!"
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2011-04-29 06:40
Loved this...
dear John! Your rythm and rhyme were spot on and I loved the story. Seems to me that you could leave out a few of those commas, I don't think you need them all. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Tam the Chanter
Fri, 2011-04-29 14:56
geezer
thanks, Gee, glad you liked it
Ian
TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA
Tam the Chanter
Sun, 2011-05-08 14:38
laughter
There is nothing more rewarding than making people smile. Thanks for the kind words.
Ian
TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA
Tam the Chanter
Sun, 2011-05-08 17:28
Shirl
I'm glad you like this, thanks for taking the time to write. I'm sorry I took so long to get back to you, but I've been on holiday down on the Solway coast, a fascinating place. Get too many hats And We'll be calling you Mahatma Ghandi LOL
Love
Ian xx
TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA
scribbler
Sun, 2011-05-08 20:22
HHHHel--lo
too too busy l- laughing to critique..........scribbler
Tam the Chanter
Mon, 2011-05-09 05:41
golf
Glad it appealed to you. Stole the joke and made a poem of it - maybe a new genre? Turn old jokes into new poems?
Regards
Ian
TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA