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iambic damn pentameter

Submitted by judyanne on Wed, 2015-03-04 22:32

iambic damn pentameter is not so hard to do
oh oops, it seems I’ve added here an extra foot or two
infatuated by the form, my muses simply glow
it seems that their enthusiasm’s made my verses grow

the words all flow, and you can see my muses full in song
at my expense, I have to say, the lines are getting long
so now I write heptameter - iambic too, it seems
and rhythm of the narrative, now from my fingers streams

pentameter, heptameter, I wonder if they’ll stop
if lines become too long I fear my writes will be a flop
I’m praying that this fad will pass and I’ll return to free-style
before the verses end up pages longer than a mile

but mania for something fun is very hard to kick
I’m easily addicted, prepossessed, so help me quick
I ken from prior times (I used to be like this with rhyme)
I’ll be a long while cursed here in this friggin’ paradigm
.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
lol ...I wrote the first two verses for the meter WS, and then couldn't stop
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

scribbler

Wed, 2015-03-04 23:06

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For me it seems tetrameter
flows from my pen with the most ease
perhaps it is the way I breathe
or how the wind mourns through the trees
which leads me to write it much more than almost any other such as decameter

(I just sprained my brain)

judyanne

Thu, 2015-03-05 02:36

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for me | it seems | tet -ram | et -er 
flows from | my pen | with the | most ease
per -haps | it is | the way | i breathe
or how | the wind | mourns through | the trees

a very nice mix - ok on the ear

now make it iambic - I dare you

love judy
xxxxxx

 

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

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scribbler

Thu, 2015-03-05 13:51

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That mean Judy woman is picking on me! lmao

judyanne

Thu, 2015-03-05 22:02

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What's new? lol
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

mand

Thu, 2015-03-05 02:05

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You two are soo funny! :). Your poem made laugh out loud - I've now got a fixed grin on my face - confirming peoples suspicions with regard my sanity. Lol.

Brilliant poem - I can almost feel the tension ooze out of your blood as you relax out of strict form mode. Lol. Non the less this is cleverly written and I love the honest humour. :).

Also shows how skilled you are as a poet.

Love Mand xxxx

judyanne

Thu, 2015-03-05 02:41

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I haven't relaxed out of strict form mode - this is iambic heptameter - seven iambic feet to a verse. Form seems to have taken me over, my muses are loving it and making me write longer and longer verses (lines)...

thank so much for the lovely comment and compliment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

mand

Thu, 2015-03-05 07:06

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Well that tells you how much I know. Lol it ran so smoothly I didn't even realize!

Now I'm even more impressed!

Love Mand xxx

scribbler

Thu, 2015-03-05 13:53

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Should try missing meter somewhere here on purpose in order to establish an effect.......that'll teach her Bwa ha ha

judyanne

Mon, 2015-03-09 07:43

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I wasn't ignoring you. ... I missed your little comment tucked away in there...
'little' being the operative word lol
Look out, I might write a piece and purposely miss the meter, then challenge you to parse it and find the error - that'll teach you to tease, young man. Don't you realise how stressed I am, trapped in this meter paradigm? - read the poem, I need help man!

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

scribbler

Mon, 2015-03-09 13:19

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I Have read your poem and think it's great inn conveying how a muse can take over.
I rhyme
a lot of the time
with little thought paid
to length of the line I've made

Some people think my meter's strange
but it's about the best I can seem to arrange
But I would never ever stretch a line to great length at least most the time most the time
to achieve rhyme

judyanne

Wed, 2015-03-11 13:06

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Iambic with anapaest and a couple of trochee and dactyl
Well mixed
and if I count correctly, you got a decameter in there lol
Yay, ♡♡♡♡ meter-maid clapping ♡♡♡♡
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

scribbler

Wed, 2015-03-11 15:23

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Might know I finally do something right........and it's an accident lol

Rula

Thu, 2015-03-05 09:41

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Brilliant...the least to say
Ambulance in its way... :)

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judyanne

Thu, 2015-03-05 22:00

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for calling the ambulance - but they must be busy 'cos they haven't turned up yet ....
Glad you enjoyed this
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

emogothgirl

Mon, 2015-03-09 22:26

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I ALMOST love this too much to crit but I tried my hardest and here is what I came up with: S3 L3 delete the second "i'll" and it flows better.
I love it.

Mag

judyanne

Wed, 2015-03-11 13:09

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for the great comment and suggestion, but if I delete that second 'I'll' it will mess with the meter
I'm very glad that you enjoyed this
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

wesley snow

Tue, 2015-03-10 18:40

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What fun it is. And fear not, Virgil and Pope wrote with longer lines... uh verses. Don't worry, I'll let everyone call it a line when we're done (and I no longer have my powers).is
Seriously, this is the most fun with a poem I've had in a long time.

W. H. Snow

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judyanne

Wed, 2015-03-11 13:12

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thank you. I am so glad you enjoyed this
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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