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A Thought
Judge not what thou hast oft in sight,
as deep must live the soul.
Thy naked eyen might tell thee lies,
whilst hearts shall tell it all.
Last few words:
Just experimenting a less modern language. Hope you don't mind it. :)
Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Fri, 2014-11-28 13:11
Rula
Very thoughtful poem about trusting the heart call.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Fri, 2014-11-28 13:47
Thank you raj
So kind of you to drop in with such a nice comment.
I always thought the English less modern language is really charming.
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raj
Fri, 2014-11-28 14:51
i appreciate your intent to
i appreciate your intent to innovate. Keep it up please.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Fri, 2014-11-28 16:11
typo no?raj!
eyen....?
Rula
Fri, 2014-11-28 16:31
eyen
is the less modern word for "eyes" Loved.
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Ian.T
Fri, 2014-11-28 18:55
Rula
Twix your God and the essence of all things, is a domain we shall call Heaven, because it is too beautiful for any other word.
That we shall dwell within this domain in perfection, is a task that we must try to achieve.
There shall be only a love of an energy that will eclipse all other things, there we shall be free of all man made stupidity,
Yours as always, Ian
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Rula
Sat, 2014-11-29 09:44
Ian
totally agree. I like how you've said it all.
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wesley snow
Fri, 2014-11-28 19:10
By all means should you experiment.
On anything.
The language you mimic is Old English.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Rula
Sat, 2014-11-29 09:42
Thank you sir!
Like it? :)
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judyanne
Sat, 2014-11-29 09:31
i love this little shortie Rula
but 'soul' and ''all'' is a weak rhyme (imo)
lol - it may be my aussie accent, but i think
''whilst hearts shall tell the whole.' might work better ???
this little beautie trips awesomely over the tongue when read aloud
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Rula
Sat, 2014-11-29 09:41
or it might be
my Arabic accent judyanne.
Let me think abt. this for some time. I am really happy with it at the moment.
I am happy you're back to pick on mine. (smiles)
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wesley snow
Sat, 2014-11-29 15:09
Yes of course I like it.
I love all that you write even with the occasional flaw. It's a good poem even without the new language.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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Bella Cicerona
Sun, 2014-11-30 21:54
Excellent
I like how concisely you wrote this poem. A moral in verse--very lovely
The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.~G.K. Chesterton